A
female
age
36-40,
*ls022
writes:Hi everyone,I'm feeling incredibly stressed at the moment and I'm looking for some tips on how to deal with it as I'm already noticing the effects physically (restless sleep, acne, feeling anxious, aches and pains etc).It feels like everything has come about at once. Firstly, I'm going through a break up from my boyfriend of 5.5 years. It was my decision and he's not taking it well, so I'm getting texts and calls fairly regularly despite me telling him it's over (I wrote in about this before - he wouldn't discuss marriage and kids at all so I eventually decided to cut my losses. He's still not committing to anything but wants things back to how they were.)Anyway, all of this happened about 2 months ago, and it's also led to me beginning the process of buying my own home which is taking a lot of time and energy too.Just before the break up, I was offered a new job which required me to go through several security checks. These took a few weeks to come through, but I finally started my new job 3 weeks ago and the department is incredibly under-resourced. Everyone is currently working over 12 hour days to get everything done, and as the newbie I feel I have to too. They are also very kindly putting me through a professional qualification, and with my first exam scheduled for 3 weeks away, I'm having to study for that at night when I get home.And finally, for the last few weeks my Grandmother has been very ill and we've all been called in to the hospital a few times as it's currently 50/50 as to whether she'll be able to pull through this.I feel like things keep getting piled on and I constantly feel like I'm on a knife edge. I keep telling myself that I just need to get through the next few weeks, but I'm really struggling and feel like I'm close to cracking a lot of the time. For example, my computer shut down yesterday and lost a piece of work I'd been doing and I sat in the toilet and cried. So not like me!I've been trying to exercise but I'm struggling to so anything too strenuous as my muscles feel dog tired, and I've been trying deep breathing and hypnosis recordings but my brain is still going at 100mph. I've considered therapy but it's going to be a struggle fitting it in for the next little while with my schedule the way it is.Does anyone have any tips on getting through periods like this (without medication preferably) as I'm not dealing with it very well. Hence me being up at 3am writing this :)Thanks so much in advance.
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (8 March 2015):
My wife has fibromyalgia and needs medication to control her depression and stress which in turn controls her pain.
The meds eliminated her sex drive and ability to orgasm so we searched for natural alternatives.
We found that there are some very effective ayurvedic treatments (Indian medicine). She takes a few things, Ashwaganha, Shatavari, and turmeric. We get them from tattvasherbs .com because most of what you find are low quality raw herbs (not extracts) that are little more than a placebo.
The results are impressive so far. They're not cheap but our sanity is with it and there are no side effects.
We've also began hiking more, which I believe is very good for your mental health.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (6 March 2015):
 Let's start with the obvious: you're working too much. Doing twelve-hour days is too much. Carry on as you are, and soon you'll be off work with stress and then you'll be no help to anyone. You must cut your work hours. If you feel bad about this, see what your doctor says. He can insist you cut back for the sake of your health.
You are also in no fit state to be studying outside of work at the moment, so delay the exam for a few months until you're feeling better and you have the time.
Don't get back with your ex. It will just make things worse.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2015): Try taking some supplements to reduce stress. Here is a suggestion:
For evenings to increase sleep and relaxation try: holy basil (tulsi), theanine, glycine, GABA and tryptophan.
For mornings and through out the day: Rhodiola (stress releaf), inositol (with b complex), Green Tea Extract and Pine Bark Extract.
Obviously, try these one at a time after you look up what they do. Also, research some additional nootropics besides Rhodiola to deal with your cognitive demands on your job (bacopa possibly).
As for exercise, since you are strapped for time, try weight lifting instead of cardio. Lift as heaven weights as you can for every body part. Do as many reps as possible at that high weight.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2015): As a rmn ( mental health nurse) my advice would be to consultant with your gp, your stress levels must be out of this world at the moment. Personal I have used St John wort in the past its a herbal mood enhancer something akin to a ssri. I have also used nettle tablets all available from a herbal shop . The nettle tablet is good for support you esp if your under stress from colds etc . Talking is indeed good therapy . Warm baths and deep breathing letting yourself relax .you are going to have to baby yourself a little here. Think of having a nighttime routine . Warm bath soothing music in the back ground, warm beverage of your choosing, a dim light room these are all tranquil setting promoting melatonin for a restful sleep . If you calm your mind before sleep and I know that's difficult the percentage of you sleeping all night is higher. As you wished said we are here too; so let of steam feel free to vent .. We will listen . Take care and god bless
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 March 2015):
 I totally understand what you mean by wanting to handle this without medication if preferable. However, what would your reaction be if someone came to you and told you that they had a broken leg, but wanted to heal without using crutches? You'd look at them like "WHAT?!"
I also understand and applaud your handing the situation without ILLICIT drugs/meds. There is a difference between allowing the option of medicine under the care of a therapist alongside a multifaceted approach at helping you stabilize. You may not need meds, only good coping skills.
You know it in your heart. You feel yourself being dragged underwater by the weight of this life you're leading. Talking to someone, a therapist, good friends, US here at Dearcupid...you know you need help. You're trying to do all of this with a broken heart like the example I left about walking on a broken leg.
Talk to a therapist. Keep an open mind to everything. Meds, talking things out, coping skills, advice on lightening your load, all of it.
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