A
female
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anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time a few days ago, but he couldn't get hard enough?He hadn't been drinking or anything and i am really worried that it's something to do with me.I know he can get an erection because he has done before, but when it came to us having sex, he just couldn't get hard enough. Is there anyone who can explain maybe why this was so?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): You have to be very careful with this issue, first of all don't be hard on him and yourself, don't make this issue big, and worse thing you can do is mention it to him. This can have a adverse effect. Just act as nothing has happen and even if he mention it say that you undrestand and this can happen sometimes, and it really can. You need to have fourplay before sex, try to touch him gentel, and don't just think about errection, then you guy's are going to be fine. Have a romantic dinner, enjoy and then have sex it is not you and it is not him who is having any problem, it is just the moment which has to be right. GOOD LUCK
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): Dont watch porn unless you want to feel more insecure. After all, how are you going to feel if he gets it up looking at the porn stars after he's had trouble with you....Talk to him, ask him to see his dr...it could be something physical.
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A
female
reader, SweetInnocence +, writes (9 August 2006):
 hey don't be hard on yourself. Sometimes guys just dont have them as they use to. Its not your fault. It could be a medical problem that now coming on seeing that he was already active.I would not blame you, because sex is to be enjoyed together. Maybe the two of you need to get more conected with each other. Hear what, why dont you change the mood to a romantic one. Dimmed lights, candles, a hot outfit. Have some fun with each other. Play with one another until he gets an erection. If not then have him see a doctor about it.(THIS IS PROVIDING THAT HE IS YOUNG ) If he is in a=his late 40's and up have him still see a doctor who can further help him. But dont blame yourself sweetheart...
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A
female
reader, SweetInnocence +, writes (9 August 2006):
hey dont come down hard on yourself. There are many reasons why he couldn't get hard. It could have been a medical problem thats now coming on seeing that he has sex before. of it could mean that you both are not reasdy to share that special moment yet. you see to enjoy sex you need to be conected to each other first. so you can try to change the mood, put on a sexy outfit he likes, have the place dark wit candles and oils. set the mood for love first and have some fun with each other first. ans see if its work.
But dont blame yourself, life stills goes on. remember you are now starting life and you still have time to experiment.
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A
female
reader, justice +, writes (8 August 2006):
its nothing to do with you just watch porno with him and dress up naughty and that should work!
----------smooches
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006): What is his age?
It could be that he is really into you and his nerves are getting the best of him.
For a few times, be the one who is take charge. Ask him what he would like you to do.
I am thinking it may be nerves and he is unsure of himself and what you will think of him.
Calm him and reassure him. Don't take it personally. It happens.
My bf is 33 and at the beginning...we struggled. Time and working on loving, trusting, and accepting one another has paid off...I am with an amazing, loving man who just happens to be a great lover.
Best of wishes Sweetie.
*hugs*
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