A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been through a marriage break up about 1.5yrs ago,I have met somebody else we get on great but sometimes I really do not want the physical side of things..can a relationship work without a spark..? We have been together 6mths.
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male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (3 June 2008):
Hi there,
Yes I think it certainly can. But I believe this type of relationship to be more like a close friendship.
You are still young, so I think at some stage you will miss the physical intimacy a relationship offers. I'm sure he will too.
Is there no reason you cannot simply be friends and allow each other to pursue romantic liasions with others? You will then have a soul mate you can share and confide with.
Good luck anyway.
A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (2 June 2008):
Yes, it can work.
I do think it would be a great pity to miss out on the joys that a physical relationship can give you, and I think it's worth making a real effort to re-capture the sparks of physical desire, but I don't think the sexual side of it is always critical.
I do, however, believe that you need to be close, physically close, to someone. You need to be able to touch, to feel the warmth of a body close to you. I think that's a basic human need, and without it I believe there's a much greater risk of developing personality problems and social disorders. That may be over-stating it, but I hope you understand what I mean.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (2 June 2008):
I think a relationship could work without a "spark" if both people do not care about the "spark" and are perfectly happy having more of a companion than a physical connection. But, if one person desires the physical and the other doesn't, then you will run into problems. It is all about if you two are on the same page and want the same things, although I have found that the physical adds to the relationship-and I don't mean just sex. I mean, holding hands, hugging, kissing...which is a part of intimacy (not all of intimacy) that can be vital in maintaining a relationship.
Since you had a marriage break-up, I would say that maybe you want that but are not ready for something like that...which is okay. There is nothing wrong with wanting a companion to share things with as long as the other person wants the same thing.
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