A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can a relationship work when you're families are so different? Me and my boyfriend are in love and have been seeing each other for a while now, but his family don't accept me since I'm not the same religion as him, and if my family knew he wasnt Christian they would probably react the same way - his mum refers to me as a 'demon' and his friends think he's wasting his time and don't accept me either - if it was just up to me and him we don't have any problems whatsoever with our differences and respect each other's views but unfortunately it's not only us two, his parents will always be in the picture and so will mine - any thoughts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): Get rid of him you're still young find someone else if his family and friends are like that!!!!! It will NEVER WORK
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 September 2012):
 Given your ages there is a chance that this might become a long term thing and as you've already pointed out, when you partner up with someone you're combining lives and everyone in them.
Things will be pretty tough living among people who think of you and openly refer to you as a 'demon'. That's a dreadful thing to say.
Your family and friends were there before he came along and they'll be there long after. If I had to choose, I'd choose them.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (24 September 2012):
 It can only work if you think a relationship is between you two, and you are okay to celebrate occasions with him and your family members separately.
You can also try ignoring the differences and stop being defensive of the relationship. I recently watched the politically incorrect movie dictatorship with the Borat character in it. It reveals some true points that people behave according to tradition by deep down inside they have the need to connect with different people. Their upbringing, opinions is just a shell. It comes a time when you view yourself as an authority too, because adults can be wrong. Your relationship with your boyfriend in time will show that you are right. If they stick to their antiquated beliefs then you don't need them in your lives. That depends on how important it is having in laws and grandparents close in your family.
You and your boyfriend should also stand up for each other. It means you are free to act and talk as long as you are being rational within your family. If the extended family causes problem in the relationship then you have to support each other instead of blaming each other or getting angry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2012): Maybe you could buy for both your mums the book Romeo and Juliet for Christmas. They were lovers thwarted by both their parents...
I think you need to tread carefully pushing your parents won't help the situation, but boxing clever and winning your parents over might..
Drop his name in when you can, if your mum tuts or says something not nice, tell her religion isn't everything, you could be with a Christian who beats you and treats you terrible, it's how he makes you feel but don't push it.. Tell her I love you mum, then drop him in, there will come a point she will say are you going to keep mentioning this boy and you can lightly say yes, as you want her to give him and you a chance ...
And your boyfriend needs to o the same...
Hopefully this will work..
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