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Can a relationship work between a Catholic and non-Catholic??

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Question - (2 March 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2010)
A female Australia, anonymous writes:

My bf is Catholic and i'm Anglican (christian religion). His family are really strict about their religion, where as mine arent. I dont go to church or anything, but I do believe in God and I think that alot of my morals and values are from my religion, however Im not too serious about it.

I guess my question is, can a relationshp with a strict Catholic (although hes had sex before marriage, so i guess hes not that strict) work with someone who isnt Catholic? I dont mind that hes very religous, it doesnt bother me at all, its just im not sure what his family think.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010):

In my opinion I think it can work because ur religions r very similar. Currently I am goinh thru the sme thing with my boyfriend. He's a devout pentecostal an I'm catholic. I knew his religion befre I strted datin hm n he knw I ws catholic. He told me he didn't mnd as long as we bth believe in god. Bt lately he's becme mre devout n wnts to follow his religion mre closely. He's not tryin to push his beliefs on me but. Its stll hard wen I know tht he thinks sme of the stff I believe is wrng. I dnt kno how raising our kids will wrk. I was actually extremly depressd for like 3 mnths aftr hetold me tht we cnt hve sex cux he's tryin to gt closr to god. It wsnt abt the sex it ws mre because religion scres me. I luv god and even tho I enjoy goin to catholic massbt religion itself cnfuses me. How cn I know what's rte. Jus discuss it with hm n see wht hpns

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008):

The thing about being catholic is it's more than just a religion - it's sort of its own culture, too, oftentimes. The religion is very steeped in tradition and ritual, and catholics need that ritual in a way protestants often don't understand.

If he's serious, he will probably want to get married in the catholic church - if you want this to work, you would almost certainly need to be okay with that. The catholic church will now officiate ceremonies b/w catholics and non-catholics, but you have to vow to raise your children in the catholic faith. You should think about that and see whether it's something you can really commit to.

My grandmother was catholic and married an anglican. When I was in college, I dated, very seriously, an atheist. I can still remember my grandmother pulling me aside one day and telling me that being involved w/ someone who is not of your same religion is very trying. At the time, I thought it was funny that she compared me dating an atheist to her marrying my grandfather -- of all protestant sects, anglicans are probably closest to catholics, whereas a devout catholic and an atheist have far less common ground.

That said, over time, my whole family came to love my atheist bf. After a few years, I ended things w/ him (not b/c of religion), and my devoutly catholic mom cried for days -- she told me she felt like she was losing a son. My family never set aside their reservations - it still concerned them that he didn't believe in god, but in the end, they just wanted me to be happy.

Take an interest in his church and find out whether it's something you could make a part of your life.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (2 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntIf you love him , you just follow his religion and there wont be any problems.

Whether you are Anglicans or Catholics, you are still a Christian.

Don't be bothered about all those ideologies as long as you love your b/f

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (2 March 2008):

O Connor agony auntok so wat else can you do then?! you have met them, and whether they want to believe this is real or not, they like you. leave it be, there is nothing else you can really do to make you feel better. is he ok with it also yeah? all i can say is that as long as you are both happy with eachtother, then i wouldnt let this little issue worry you because it doesnt seem to be an issue for anyone else.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the advice :)

My bf has said one thing when we first started dating that made me think religon could be an issue. He was under the impression when he first met me that i was Catholic, as are so many other poeple. I have no idea why, but everyone always seems to assume im a serious catholic. Anyway, he said to me in conversation one day "you're a catholic right" and i said no im anglican and he had a weird look on his face, sorta like maybe disapointment or maybe he was just shocked, i duno...

I have met his parents and my bf said his parents think im nice. They know im not a catholic but maybe that doesnt bother them if they dont think me and my bf will last long as we are only 19 years old.

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (2 March 2008):

O Connor agony auntim sure that it will be fine. has he said anything to you that would make you think that his family wouldn't approve? in my opinion, his family should respect your beliefs and care more about who you are and how happy you make their son. talk to him and see how he feels about the situation - he may be able to give you some insight into how serious his family are or aren't about religious differences. if you really feel unsure about it, suggest meeting his parents and let them get to know you - not your religion. if they are mature adults, they should respect the special relationship that you have, and not push their beliefs on you. i hope this helps, good luck! if you need any more help, just email me xxx

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