A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year, for somebody else who can satisfy me more. My previous boyfriend did not like sex, so we never had it. I am bipolar and we frequently fought, and I would go from hating him to loving him very rapidly. He was always very supportive towards the end of the relationship though. Yet, somehow i started liking him less, and when somebody who i had an instant connection to came into my life, i instantly jumped on that opportunity. I've only known this guy for 2 weeks, but we connect SO well we both feel as if we've known each other for much longer. My ex boyfriend, naturally, was hurt when i left him for "somebody better". Then i found out that the guy I am currently seeing has borderline personality disorder as well as a mild case of paranoid schizophrenia. I am familiar with both of those mental illnesses, but as the relationship goes on, and we start showing more of our true colors, i am afraid, just from what i hear about mentally ill people's relationships (and family's experiences), that they never work out well at all. My ex was even more mad when he found out that i had left him also for somebody he considered to be more "unstable", and kept telling me that it would end, just like ours did, but much much worse. He essentially got me to convince myself that I will never have a successful or happy relationship because of my mental illness. ESPECIALLY if i pair up with another person with one. This feels different though. We have SUCH a connection. However... one thing is annoying me. My boyfriend gets very paranoid and thinks that I am still interested in my ex, when that isn't true. My ex kept texting me, because, well, we decided we would remain friends, and we were VERY good friends before this new guy came into the picture. My boyfriend took my phone and saw some texts that were loving/caring towards my ex and was really hurt, and told me to stop talking to him. I said I would, but I didn't, and he found that out the next day, and got mad again. I really didn't want to lose him, so that time i really promised. My ex was super hurt by that and pissed off, and rightly so. I was unhappy in a relationship with my ex, but i can't deny that he was a good and supporting friend. But now, with my new boyfriend I can't talk to my ex, or hardly any of my guy friends because he's so paranoid and insecure!! Right now I can respect it, but being me, and knowing me, I can see that getting on my nerves. I can't be controlled like that. But at the same time, I have to respect his illness, that's making him paranoid and insecure. I expect the same from my lovers; for them to adapt to my illness that I can't change. I don't know. I mean, mentally ill people deserve love too! I'm not really sure what my question is, i just sort of want some opinions or advice for relationships as a mentally ill person dealing with another mentally ill person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): I would break up with your new boyfriend because you need your friends in your life, your new boyfriend seems too controlling and will end up making your own mental health problems worse.
A
female
reader, kayxlovesxjamiex  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 i think that you should keep in touch with your ex as hes your friend aswell! i think you should end the relationship with your boyfriend! youv known him 4 2 weeks and hes really paranoid and controlling alredy. thats not healthy hun. sex isnt everything in a relationship! theres plenty of ways you could please yourself!
good luck chick :)
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