A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone - can a relationship ever work out if you've split a couple of times before?I had been with my partner for 4 years when I ended the relationship. Although we didn't live together, I felt that we were at different points in our lives etc. We split in February 2007. He then kept contacting me and eventually around August 2007, we got back together. While we had been apart though, something in me had changed and when we got back together, I didn't feel the attraction for him that I once had. I talked to him about this, but he said we'd get back to how we once were with time.Cutting a long story short, we didn't get back to how we once were and I ended things again in March this year. We have seen each other out and about and he desperately wants us to try, yet again.I do think he needs to be in a relationship and to be part of a couple - and for us to get back together would be so much than trying to start again with someone new. Should you ever really go back to a relationship that for what ever reason has gone wrong before? I know that he thinks the world of me which makes it so much harder. I'm convinced that if we did try yet again, it would end in tears and the cracks would be there further down the line. There is still something there between us, not sure what but when we have seen each other, we've chatted like we've never been apart - soul mates really. Am I being an idiot in letting someone pass by that thinks so highly of me or would it end in disaster again?? I know that nobody is perfect and the perfect relationship doesn't exist. Part of me would try again and part of me thinks never go back - after all it's ended in disaster already.On the fact of it would really do get on - but in day to day reality, could I ever really get enough feelings back to make it work? And I'm still not sure I'd want to.Has anyone else been through the same - any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (18 June 2008):
 If you ended the relationship the last time because your feelings had changed and you feel no differently towards him now, there's no point going back and trying to make yourself feel something that is no longer there.
You could remain friends if you feel you could deal with that, and you want to keep him in your life.
You need to do whatever makes you happy in life, don't get back with him because you want to make him happy.
Good luck!
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