A
male
age
41-50,
*dschnucke
writes:I am single and live not far away from the red-light district. To get to my appartement, you have to walk a while through this area. In any case, this is the shortest way.Since I come back late almost every evening, it is inevitable that I pass some of these girls on the street. For about two years, I have noticed a 20-year-old woman among them and immediately developed strong feelings for her; but not because of her job. Prostitution is absolutely uninteresting to me.I always feel butterflies in my stomach when I walk past her, sensations like with no other woman in my life. Often I can think of nothing but her and a future together.After these two years I approached her for the very first time and paid for a bj in her car.The next evening I went home the usual way: for the first time this woman was not standing in her regular place, but where I approached her yesterday, where prostitutes normally never stand; without makeup, dressed normally and waiting for me.I didn't expect that and chose another way home.Some days later I was sitting on the bench in the city: and suddenly saw this woman sitting across from me, imitating my movements, flirting with me non-verbally from afar, obviously wanting me to make a move. Totally confused, I pretended not to notice her in the crowd.I don't know what to think! How does she know where I am during the day? How did she find me? Is that magic? But in fact I felt a strange attraction in the two years without even having exchanged a word with her. My heart indeed always said: "she's the woman of my life!"Should I be happy? How should I behave the next time I walk past her again? What does she want from me!?Of course, the question arises no less, what do I want from her...Well, as already stated, I find this girl extremely attractive - not as a prostitute, but as a woman. She arouses deep emotions in me. Somehow I had to get in touch with her and used her services without revealing my true feelings to her.I'm worried. It is said that love between prostitutes and their customers is taboo. The scene is characterized by unwritten laws. As a client, one shouldn't have high hopes and shouldn't chase after prostitutes privately and keep one's hands off them.But what should I think in my case - when a prostitute is waiting for me, chasing after me, skipping her usual work for me the next evening; yes, as described, even finding me in town during the day, having once been her customer?Does she have the same romantic feelings for me or is she toying with me? Is that also just part of her business? How should I interpret that?Nothing is like before! What did I set in motion!?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2022): The last sort of guy a prostitute would fall for, date or marry would be a guy who has to pay for sex. To her he is just a customer, someone who is too shy, not good looking enough or capable enough to get a real woman. These women are actresses, they say or do what it takes to get money from you. You have nothing else that would interest them. If they were looking for a new guy they would have a big pool to choose from and shy guys, inexperienced, ordinary looks, at least ten years older would not get a look in. When she does go with a guy it will also be for money and security so unless you had a very good income you would get ditched. She is not a fool. Not there just to make you happy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2022): OP it seems you are going to have to learn your lesson the hard way. Because no matter what anybody here tells you, you are not going to listen or take their advice to heart. And they have all given you good advice. You are a delusional, immature man with your head in the clouds and not in reality. I think your hard earned money would be much better spent on therapy (you need it!) because what you are saying here is beyond the pale. How long can you walk barefoot through the fire OP? Before burning yourself alive? This fantasy of yours will consume you and hurt only you in the end. The world is full of bad people who pretend to be good. People have their own agendas. People don't give a crap about you. You are just another wallet but they will become your best friend, only to take your last dime. And they will do this to the next person too. You have too much of an optimistic view of the world and people OP. This is not going to serve you well in life.
We are talking about a prostitute here. Not the girl next door. I am sorry but I am going to be judgmental here. Prostitutes are not the kind of women who one would want a future with. They are often very messed up and have bad pasts. And how do you know what kinds of STD's they might have or are exposed to every single day? They won't change; their situation is not easy to get out of. They know they are attractive. They know men fall all over them. And they take full advantage. I am a pretty woman. Although I would NEVER stoop so low to become a hooker, I can still wrap them around my finger if I so choose. It is not hard at all. I know what I am doing. And so does she. Only for her, there is the biggest incentive of all: MONEY. People KILL for money. What makes you think she would not pretend to LOVE you for MONEY? Or even show extra interest in you for MONEY? You are naive OP. It is a complete contradiction that these women feel so empowered by sex yet the part of them you do not see is the side which is broken, insecure and at the mercy of men. Hookers think they are using men but it is the other way around: MEN ARE USING THEM. Deep down, they loathe men. And their attitudes towards others, themselves and the world are totally unhealthy.
I would be creeped out that she is showing up in areas you are hanging out in. She is scoping you or someone is. I think you may be targeted. I would be frightened if I were you. Being involved in that world can be VERY DANGEROUS. She gave you a HAND JOB! And you PAID HER FOR IT! How on earth do you call that LOVE??? If anything, you are bordering on STALKING her. Your comments sound obsessive and your behavior on the verge of being out of control. You need to reign in this fantasy and fast. Pull away before you get too deep. I would not want to see you doing something you later regret. You do not know these people! This world of theirs could be dangerous and they are just pulling you, a naive, man, right into their web!
Why would you think you are the chosen one amongst hundreds of men she bangs or gives blow jobs to everyday? Why would you want this kind of a woman? She is a hustler and a player. I seriously doubt that she is the kind of woman you can ever feel emotionally safe and secure with in a committed relationship. Her past and her past ways would always drive a wedge. It would chip away at you and the relationship. You would not realize it now because you are so sexually consumed and LUST overpowers your sense of reasoning and logic. You are just a typical guy driven by his penis. Sorry OP. But that is all it is. This is NOT LOVE. YOU DO NOT KNOW HER and she does not know you. It was a business transaction, and that is all.
I think it is time to move on. You need to forget about her and find a REAL girlfriend. One you don't have to pay for sex. One you know wants to be with you for you, and not your money. Surely there are lots of kind and attractive women in your area. What are you afraid of OP? Are you afraid of having a real relationship with a woman so you need to hang onto this fantasy? It seems something is holding you back from reality. You much prefer something/someone unattainable. You cannot live life like this. I truly believe you need help. Your behavior is not normal. I would be interested in knowing your background. What led you to behave this way? What happened to you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2022): First-off, romanticizing and fantasizing can lead to bad-judgement; because what is in your imagination may not match what is happening in real-life.
Prostitution is the profession of selling your body or doing sex-acts for money. The person who does this is called a sex-worker, hooker, or prostitute; but she (or he) is still a person...a human being. Although selling your body in exchange for money is, at worst, degrading to your humanity; allowing people to use you like a product, or at their pleasure; lowers you to a subservient position to the john or client. They intend to get what they pay for. The more you're willing to do, the more they may be willing to pay. Remember, all this is going to hit you when you come-down off cloud-nine!
You can be a street-corner hooker, an upscale call-girl, or highly-paid gigolo/toy-boy; the only difference between these workers is how much you charge, you will likely get paid, and how much a client is able to pay. A john is a john, and sex-worker is a sex-worker. They are both human beings, with feelings and souls like any body else. Anything can happen, but delving into the world of sex-workers, you're playing against the worst of odds.
I have a former friend from Spain. He was pretty good-looking, tall and striking. He met a Russian-model while attending college in New York. She got him a few modeling gigs. She is a call-girl on the side. When the modeling jobs slowed to a stop; she became a call-girl. Partying with a few rich-guys, or whoever is willing to pay her bills or fees. She got my former-friend hooked on heroin. She too is an addict, but her sugar daddies took care of her. He is a useless mess. A pathetic doper, who looks nothing like what he used to. On top of all that, he's got problems with immigration, and an arrest record. He let his visa run-out! For all I know, he has long since been deported. I haven't seen him in four of five years. He was the sweetest guy. God only knows where he is now, or if he's still alive. I tried to get him into rehab, and he was furious with me. I made it clear, he was no longer a friend or welcome in my home. I have not seen him since.
Most human beings are capable of feeling love; and that includes sex-workers. However, a better alternative to being a street-walker in the night, and dealing with weirdos or psychos; is to have a clientele of sugar daddies and dependable regulars. It makes the job easier and more lucrative to have a list of paying-boyfriends (with deep pockets), or repeat customers. You have to be careful; because these guys and ladies have lived the streets, and they hustle for a living. They often have drug addictions, criminal records, and won't hesitate to rob their benefactors. They more than often bite the hand that feeds them.
They are also usually working for a local pimp, gang-leader, or drug-ring who takes a cut of their earnings. They are rarely free-lancers, meaning they may be tied to crime rings or have boyfriends who are dangerous gangsters or thugs. You don't know much about her, but she knows your comings and goings? That's a very bad sign, it means someone is watching you; and have noticed that you've been watching her. Being streetwise, she can pinpoint a sucker from a mile away! They know the locals and the neighborhood. They get-around!
The depiction of prostitutes like in the movie "Pretty Woman" is a big-time Hollywood fantasy. We are now in the tech-age, when people steal your identity, pirate your phone and credit cards, and will clean-out your bank account. The greatest bait in the world is a beautiful face, hot body, and good acting skills to entice a sucker into your web.
I doubt you will take my advice to leave her alone. You'll look for someone who'll encourage you to take a risk. What are you going to do if what I say is true? You'll look foolish; and the local law enforcement will see you as just another john who got robbed, if you report a crime. Your fantasies will be your greatest disappointment ever.
Use your common sense, my friend. She chose hustling and selling her body to an ordinary job or career. Her life is hard, or there is a very terrible story behind her that drove her to prostitution. I hope you know the difference between love and lust. They are not synonymous words. She's a broken-person, and you may not have what it takes to rescue or rehabilitate her. Your wallet is more likely what she's after, not your heart.
My advice? Snap out of it!!! Don't let your imagination runaway with you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2022): All of a prostitute's clients / customers / paying friends find them desirable as a woman. What a thing to say. Did you think they were looking for a pyramid, a bar of chocolate or a leopard when they came across her. No man wants to think that the woman he goes with is a prostitute, they all want to think of her as an attractive sexy woman, none of them want to pay, it ruins their ego and bank balance, they all dream that she will fall for them and love them. Very often the woman pretends to fancy the man, tells him she is having feelings for him, just to keep him coming back and paying. That is the best you will get from her or any other prostitute. You seem to forget that gorgeous women can easily get a husband or boyfriend and either already have one or don't want one. This idea you guys have that she will desire you is so conceited. Do you really think that she will regularly turn away paying customers to see you for free instead? That is the same as her paying to be with you. With all due respect you are not the most charming or handsome man there is in the area, so where does all that come from? It is far easier to get a normal woman than a prostitute to want you and be with you. If you cannot get a normal woman you have no chance with a pro.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (15 April 2022):
 Anyone can have romantic feelings for anyone..
But mate! Your question sounds like the plot of a Bollywood film. I'm sorry to say this isn't magic or a fairy tale romance.. it's salesmanship!
The point is you are a potential regular CUSTOMER. That is why when I go past the fruit market and a particularly shiny orange gets my attention, the trader follows me.. trying to SELL me the product.
Bottom line, until you are in an actual relationship with this woman this isn't reality..
You want a relationship with this woman, speak to her and get to know her.. you will soon find out if she feels the same.. but even then a relationship with a prostitute may not be the fairy tail it is in your head.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2022): Well you will never know the answers unless you talk to her. I am amazed you are nearly 40 yrs old and you are too shy to talk to women. Next time you see her say hello to her and take it from there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2022): Oh dear, we have a live one.
I can just see it now, the grandchildren asking their grandad how he and Granny met: "Well sit at my feet and i'll tell you....see she was a hooker and I hired her ..."
On a serious note, you're thinking way too much into this. You're infatuated but it's not love. The second you paid for her services proved that. Normal people ask a prospective interest to go out on a date, not throw them a few quid for a BJ!
What's more, she is doing her job and very professionally by the looks. Ofcourse she's flirty, the gets paid for sex. When you're not there to flirt with guess what she does? Flirts with others in the same way and gives them the save service that she gave you.
Try asking her for sex without payment and see what she says, there's your answer.
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