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age
,
anonymous
writes: Can a person male or female, truly have the belief or values which consider that cheating on someone they absolutely love is totally wrong and they have always considered it that and then go to a person;Who considers it just something which I was only into, because I thought I could get away with, the lies are only because you have to lie when you have an affair because it is secret. I thought I could get away with having a relationship with her secretly, but because I was stupid and got caught. Fuck it was only an affair. Nothing to fix. There is no problem it was just a total and complete mistake" Can you have it both ways? Could I also hear an honest opinion on, if I should be considering that there was not only the sexual element to the affair, but also an actual relationship with emotions?Please your thoughts....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): You seem like you think its ok as long as you dont get caught.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 I wonder! would you feel the same if your partner riped out your Heart and shoved it down your throat?.Can you really not understand how all the lies and deciet would hurt. Your not human, or you have no feelings, I cant decide which.Had you not been caught, would you have gone on with your affair. It doesn't seem like you have any remorse.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Whether it is just sex alone or sex with emotions with another person while you are married is wrong .
This is called adultery.
God knows better.
I don't think I want to venture there for there is too high a price to pay for such extras.
You can say it is nothing but your partner may not feel the same.
What if the situation was reversed?
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (12 March 2008):
 The degree of mental turmoil caused by betrayal is generally underestimated. It's not just the sex that hurts, but the lies as well. It's the whole 'deceit' thing.
Perfectly rational, well balanced people are often unable to prevent themselves becoming completely overwhelmed by the feelings arising from the discovery of betrayal. Their world is turned upside down, over and over and over again. Assault, depression, suicide and murder are often the result of an unfaithful partner. These are the headline stories, but there are many many more painful stories that don't quite hit the headlines. But they happen all the same. The pain is just as bad.
Simply put, it drives people crazy.
You can apply Pareto's Law - the cheater gets 20% pleasure - for their partner to get 80% pain. So when you decide to boost your own ego from an affair - it is done at the expense of the person to whom you once said "I love you."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): wow your question is kinda confusing..but i'll try to answer it the best i can.you cheated dont try to say it was only a mistake everytime you did something unfaithful with her or lied about it you made a mistake so no an affair is not just one mistake it is many but from your post "Fuck it was only an affair"i can see that you dont take this seriously at all do your signifacant other a favor and break up with him/her untill your ready to commit to one person.sorry for being so blunt about it but i really dont take kindly to people who cheat and try to justify it.
-michael
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 March 2008):
You cheated.You can justify it to yourself all you want but if you get dumped then you can't complain.x
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Hi,
I'm sorry, I'm very confused. Who are we talking about here? Can you explain what you mean, is it simply a case of your partner cheating on you and making some lame excuse for it?
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