A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm in agony here. I am having a long distance relatioinship with a guy, for a year. We see each other 2 or 3 times a month. Last time I saw him, I found a movie ticket in his pocket for 27 dresses. After lying, he admitted he took his neighbor to a movie. He says he gets lonely, is a physical guy. He says he hasn't kissed her, hasn't slept with her. this was all volunteered while I just sat there in shock. He has been telling me I am the love of his life, and would never do anything to hurt me.He then gave me a key to his apartment and asked if he should make room in his closet.I do think he has been having a relationship with her. He seems to love me and not want to lose me. I was thinking of moving to his city this summer, but now I am just so hurt. Can a man have an affair and still be seeing the 'love of his life' It's been a week now, and no matter where he says he has been, I don't really believe him. I do adore him, but don't know what to do. All advice from experienced daters would be so helpful, as I have no one to really talk to about this. Thanks
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affair, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Sorry but - the answer is YES
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Hi,
sorry mate, but he is a player. You seriously didnt believe his bs story about his neighbour. Yeah, he's a physical guy for sure, and of course he's not being physical with his neighbour. Oh hold on, he's a physical guy, I bet he wished he didnt say that.
A lot of guys can easily have two girls on the go at the same time. You may think that it is impossible for you yourself to commit yourself emotionally to more than one person, but a lot of men ( and women for that matter too ) find it very easy. You get to have sex with two different people and it's exciting as there is always the danger of getting caught.
Sorry, but he sounds rather flippant about his infidelities, that should be a huge warning sign to you.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (11 March 2008):
 I find what he is saying quite contradictory; he gets lonely and is a 'physical guy' but hasnt done anything with her except take her to the movies and hang-out, at least that is what he seems to be saying here. Having said that, people do have 'emotional affairs' so you cant completly rule it out.
Affairs usually occur when an aspect of the relationship isnt meeting one partners needs and expectations so if this guy is saying his needs are physical and those are the ones the distance means arent being met then it seems slightly unlikely to me that he would be contented with an emotional affair but maybe I am wrong.
I think you need to think very carefully about this one and decide whether you can ever trust him again. You may want too but in the long run it will be pure agony if you do feel that you cant ever trust him again. Good luck :)
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