A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are a completely happy, normal couple. Sort of. Earlier in our relationship I noticed it was hard for him to get it up and even keep it up. We struggled for a few weeks. He was more mad about it than I was. He later confessed he had a fat fetish. I really dont have a problem with it...Only...Im 102 pounds.(5'2''..Im Tiny!) We eventually got past it, and are now having wonderful sex! But heres my question...Can a fetish be cured? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Wow , he made a curious choice. There are plenty of larger ladies out there looking for love and plenty of men who think that a 100 pound girl is just the cutest thing ever.
That said, I beg to differ from birdynumnums that a fetish can't be cured. A fetish isn't a sexual orientation that we are born with, it is not hard-wired into us in the way that, say, homosexuality is. Rather, it is a learned behavior and like any learned behavior it can be unlearned. It may not be easy but with professional help it can be done. If people can quit smoking they can unlearn a fetish. I'm sure however that, like quiting smoking, your boyfriend would have to really want to unlearn his fetish.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 This fetish is your boyfriend's "Jones", not yours. You need to let him realize that he has to get some control over it in order for your real-ationship to continue. He chose to start a relationship with 102 pound You, even though he may be a chubbie chaser. There are plenty of ways to accommodate his urges without your ruining your health over it, and he knew that he liked you as you are, or he wouldn't have dated you. Stop worrying about it if you are now having regular sex. It's okay the way things are, and please don't even think that it's okay to gain weight or no longer worry about your weight because he likes big girls. It would be a mistake and a great disservice to you and your future health.
As long as it is okay with You, there is no harm to YOU or Your relationship if he has a subscription to a magazine that he likes, or if he has a website to frequent, as an outlet for his fetish. A fetish isn't something that can be cured. As long as he has an otherwise normal life, and it doesn't interfere with his being in a relationship or employed, it's all good. A fetish isn't a perversion, it's simply a matter of personal taste. If he can meet his needs in other ways and it doesn't interfere with your new found improved sex life or your relationship, you should try to accept it as just a unique sidebar in his personal life and not as any reflection on how he feels about you.
...............................
|
