A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have always wanted my own place but back then I had no money, kept switching jobs etc so that's why at 28 years old I am still living with my parents. Right now I have money but I am now waiting for my boyfriend to find a job in the city(he works in another town) so that we can buy a place together whether or not we get married or not. Me and my bf's family have known each other over 10 years and we both plan to get married some day just not anytime soon. We will most likely get the place even before engagement. My mom feels guys should be paying the most for the house. My bf makes more money than me but because after our first degree I went out to work while he went to pharmacy school so I have more money in the bank than him currently. His mother keeps bringing it up about saving money for the house. I get a feeling she thinks that I haven't gotten my own place because I have no money. Bf's mom basically underestimated how much I saved up. My questions is this: when should I start getting my place on my own and stop waiting for boyfriend to get a job in the city? My bf's pharmacist internship completed in December so he can now look for a job in our city (they still allow him to work so he still have income). My mom feels I shouldn't be taking all the money from the bank for the down payment because she thinks men should pay for the house. Basically I should either lie to them that the money is from my parents or I should just contribute 1/3 of the down payment. I plan to have an agreement if we break up what happens with the money but my mom doesn't think that is necessary. This leads to second question how much should I put in for down payment especially if I have more money saved up than bf. I didn't want to get my own place yet because I prefer living in a house over a condo so it saves money in the long run (don't need to move to house in the future etc). If I buy the place on my own it would be condo.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2013): First of all I totally disagree with your mom. On what basis should the man pay for the house that BOTH people share, that is very unfair! This is not the 1950s anymore. Do not put yourself into a childlike position where he is the adult in the relationship and you are the dependent
You should contribute equally. 50-50 . If you don't have that much money then choose whatever house will allow you to contribute 50-50.
At 28 what does it matter what your mom thinks? You're an adult you should be making your own decisions based on your own values.
Should you get your own place now or wait til your bf can find a new job? I think it would benefit you more to move outbid your parents house as soon as possible so you can start being independent and not be so swayed by what your mom thinks.
At 28 you should already be out of your parents house.
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