A
male
age
51-59,
*lue71
writes:Hey. Where to begin. So I take over a team after moving from another department. Then there is this one lady who I start to really spark with. Don't get me wrong - the team I have are a wonderful bunch of people. But this one, she seems to stand out from them all. We have some awesome chats both at work and on WhatsApp. Nothing sexual or creepy but we share a similar sense of humour. When she does talk to me she taps me on my arm and looks deep into my eyes and has this girly giggle where she covers her face with her hands (so cute). I offer her a ride to work when we are on the same shift - she did offer to contribute towards fuel but I declined as it is really not an issue. I get so excited when she asks me to show her how to do something or to help her with a task she needs advice on. I know it is my role to give this support to her as a member of my team, but it is as if she is just finding ways to engage with me. My dilemma is that I don't want her to see me as the predator by making a move on her and then ending up in a messy discussion with HR, but what the hell do I do here? She doesn't realise it but she has me in the palm of her hand! Please don't judge me, I know I probably need to just block it out and push on, but has anyone else been in a similar position?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2016): I wanted my now boyfriend and we met in a similar type situation. I showed a lot of interest - even invented situations and scenarios to get closer to him - and led him along and finally he was the one to clinch it and make the move. He made it clear he was very interested in me too. But he also hesitated like you due to similar circumstances. The chemistry was always strong and we shared a passion for similar things, namely dance, which is how we met. It was unstoppable between us and meant to happen. When it is meant to be, it finds a way.So the moral of the story is if the chemistry is strong enough and the desire is strong enough, in the end it is going to win out.So, you might need to find a way around the situation in order to explore what you feel is an unstoppable force between both of you.I suggest asking HR for a transfer. You do not need to tell them why. But you can tell her why eventually. It will be messy if you stay in that role with her on your team. It is best to remove yourself so that you can be in a better position should something happen between you. It is always best to conduct private relationships in private. Away from gossip and prying eyes. People will always talk and judge, especially if you are in a leadership role. You want to do things on the up and up. And always be professional. If you feel things will transpire before you leave the position, then make sure you keep it totally under wraps between you in public. And that she is on the same page. But it is always best to not be in this role with her on your team if you are going to pursue something.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (1 October 2016):
 Take your time. Let nature take its course. If she likes you too then it will happen. Women can be very inventive when they want something badly.
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