A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need advice towards when a person falls out of love with the significant other.You see me and my GF broke up my friends tell me that it can be the change i went thru b4 the breakup in other words i have to be back to the same way i was when we 1st started going out.My friends also told me that i always kept the relationship excited which made her want me more! but then i became too jealous too clingy.I guess what i need to do is find the guy i once was b4 all this happend... I normally wasn't too clingy but these thoughts went thru my mind that she might leave me for another guy.I need advice of how and what activities i can do so i can be the old me not the new yet rusty clingy ass i am now.And what are the steps when a person falls out of love can someone plz give me a list of examples.I feel as if i can't find my old self That's why i need to see certain steps (examples of how and why the person falls out of love and also what activities i can do to get the old me BACK!)Sorry i made this too long and thnx for reading i really appriciate it
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 May 2008):
 What do you like (besides this girl, of course!) in your life? What makes you feel passionate and makes you so busy that you forget everything else around you?
Is it sports, music, video games, hanging out with friends, reading, studying?
Make plans with friends, go to the movies, to the mall, just get yourself out of the house and go be with other people! You need to keep yourself busy right now, so that you don't spend too much time thinking about the break up. You will of course, it can't be helped, but at least you will have something to look forward to everyday.
As far as being clingy, that might be a sign that you're not as self-confident as you might like to be. Plan A as outlined above should help you develop your strengths and give you some balance in your life, so that you're not relying on your next girlfriend to be the only important thing in your life. I'm not saying that the relationship isn't vitally important, but you want to be balanced about it, and not put everything else on hold. Do you see what I mean?
I'd also suggest that since you're a young man with lots to offer, that you consider finding some volunteer work. Habitat for Humanity can always use people to help renovate and build houses for those in need. There are lots of people who are in need and if you do a bit of research, you may find something that will interest you and at the same time, you will be making a contribution to bettering other's lives. Sports leagues for kids need coaches and referees, nursing homes have visitors programs, shelters for animals need volunteers to help take care of the lost and abandoned pets, there are lots of things you could explore. Why not make that a new project?
It also could help your future college or job applications!
All the best, you will get over her with time, it will be a bit hard at first but it will get better, I promise. In 20 years time, you'll think to yourself, 'now what was her name again?'
A
female
reader, kikicupid  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 Hi there, i can't tell you "steps" for falling out of love as it depends on people and depends on why and how you broke up. One thing i can say is that, to be who you were before, you need to just be who you are now. Be yourself.Maybe you feel like you don't know who yourself is, but the beauty of growing up is to learn that. If you want to be who you were, that means you are disregarding an experience that will be valid to you in the future- whatever happens in your life you should take in- and grow with it. You can't expect to be who you are before when something happened in between. Off course you will see a big part of who you "were"before, but you will also learn a different side to yourself after. If you feel you were "too jealous too clingy" then take this into your next relationship and try not to be as jealous and clingy. Just let experience teach you to be who you are. Hope this helps xxxx
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