A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello dear Cupids.It has been two months since my girlfriend brutally dumped me with a text message. So much for honoring a relationship of 2.5 years where we shared a lot. Even before our relationship we were so closed. I helped her through a very difficult period in her life and it's what brought us so close.Apparently I couldn't cut it anymore because I never took her out anymore or did fun things; even though she hardly suggested anyone and we only spent some time with her friends. Instead of some guy who takes care of her, she knows prefers someone like a bad boy. This all left me really distraught, after all I have done for her and trying to get her things even though I'm not a rich guy. She on the other hand will never have to worry about money whatsoever, something she also never respected. But what really hurt me is how she quickly fell for some guy in Portugal she met through World of Warcraft. Of course, it wasn't meant to be and the guy himself had a relationship of his own. But, she seems to consider our relationship as... nothing special. Only 'fond memories'. Even her dog who recently died is deemed more important than me. Why is she doing this? We were the best of friends and close lovers... and now she just dumped me because she wanted to be free, flirt and 'see the world' or whatever.Nowadays, I just cannot seem to focus on living anymore. I'm trying to focus on my study but the emotions are stacking up, which I'm trying to channel into a sports. She left me in the dark for two months before she broke off with me; and 'till this day I still cannot imagine why she would do that. It's like nothing really matters and therefore I completely lost faith in finding love ever again. Maybe that's my error for placing that faith in her, since she liked me for such a long time.. What can I do? My friends are trying to help and sometimes my mood improves but as soon as I hear how 'well' she is doing without me; I sink back into it.I could use some advice.
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female
reader, donnita  +, writes (22 December 2010):
hey, dont feel so lost. From what you have said im sure you are on the right path. Its really good that you wrote a letter to her expressing your feelings. Her reply proves that she herself doesn't know wat she wants n whom she has really lost. You on the other hand are definately a nice guy and there are many nice people around you who will help you come out of her shadow. Give it some time..channelize your energies elsewhere..and try to keep a smile on your face..everything will be alright then.
What happened to you..happened with me too a year back. My friends helped me out. I havent found another guy yet, but i am more stronger now...u will get that strenght too..just wait till this bad phase goes by..take care :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks ladies,I have been wondering whether it was going to work out or not. Admittedly, even I had a moment where I was wonderin' where on earth we were going and if it wasn't better for us to break it off. But, I believed things could be different.Maturity wise, I will say myself that she and I differed completely. I think her mental state she carried around for years took its toll on her, causing her to miss out on 'teenage things'. I can still remember how she laid crying in bad, sobbing that she didn't want to grow up. Or that one night I found her sucking her thumb on the couch. She also told me she wanted... a 'fairytale' or whatever.That stuff was told me after I got dumped, so the impact of that was very hurtful. A few weeks ago I wrote her a letter, just to get my thoughts and feelings on pages. It totaled a commentable amount of six pages. The reply?One half of a page which hardly involved anything about us, 'cept that our relationship 'had died' and that I simply had to move on because she wasn't going to be there. What did the letter mostly contain, you ask? How her recently deceased dog was ever so careless and could now run in the heavens and that she was like that dog; running ahead because she couldn't look back at the past.'Till this day I wonder what on earth I even meant to this girl. She 'never meant to see me in such sadness' but sure as hell she is not helping me. I admit, I have said some nasty things but that was a broken heart screaming for answers about her sudden betrayal and departure. I doubt I will ever have closure about this. I'm still stuck in this... shadow of her. Somewhere I still believe in love; but... Nowadays I keep hearing stuff about the 'bad boys vs nice guys'. I have no idea what category I fit. It only scares me that the world has centralised to something like that.I still ever feel so... lost.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): You are doing the right things trying to channel your energies and emotions into other things. But you will be up and down for quite a while. Allow yourself to be like that. You have been hurt and it takes time to heal. Do not look for answers because you won't find them and nothing will ease what you are feeling. Turning things around in your brain will just make you depressed as you can not change the outcome. But believe it will get better. You loved and lost - this time. Be hopeful.
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A
female
reader, donnita +, writes (21 December 2010):
hey,
U come across as an extremely mature person with a firm belief in love and this quality of yours is worth appreciation.
But sadly your girlfrnd couldnt see you like that. The way she left you was absolutely wrong but i do see a bright side for you here..
Be glad that it got over because im very sure that you will meet someone who respects you, your personality and doesn't just look for a better lifestyle.
I have always followed something and it has worked too...whatever happens, it is for your own good. No matter how bad it may seem now, one day u'l b glad dat she left
Also its time you stop mourning over her bcoz she left and moved on...think of just two things:
1. Dos she really deserve your mourning after what she did to you?
2. Dont you deserve your own happiness?
Start working towards pushing this relation in the past...try moving on..its great that you play sports and have great friends. These things will help you start afresh. No matter how difficult moving on may seem, its not really impossible. Give it a try...things will be better. And never be scared to fall in love again, its a wonderfull feelin to be loved and im sure you'll find some one soon.
Take care :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): she just doesnt want you to see hows shes doing, she wants you to feel jealous to make you think she can do better than you. but all these other guys are just idiots. she isnt worth your pain for tears so find a way of moving on. Next time you see her tell her how well youre doing and how youve done lots of things, even if its not true. She will surely feel the same as you did. To me is sounds like she just wanted a bit of help and a shoulder to cry on and now that she is back on her feet she wants to go out and do all these other things.
She is really selfish! I would do your best to forget her! You will find someone who is totally in to you and just wants to be with you forever
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