A
male
age
26-29,
*ester1996
writes:I had been with my ex girlfriend, R, for about 2 and a half years. I always thought that I was actually happy, but near the end of our relationship I realized that I was mostly in denial. When I found out that the girl that I had been with before her, T, who I still talked to, had a new boyfriend, I was ENRAGED. It was out of nowhere. I was just SO angry and upset that I didn't know what to do. I cried through 2 entire class periods at school because of it. It's what made me realize that I shouldn't be with R. So I left. It wasn't fair to her and I wasn't happy. Now I don't know what to do. I realize how in love I am with T and it hurts to know that I can't be with her. I can't even talk to her for more than 5 lousy minutes because she's with him. She spends ALL day at school with her, he drives her to and from work, and afterwards spends the rest of the day with her at her house. It hurts knowing that all I can do is sit in my room, listening to music, hoping that maybe one day she'll come back to me. She graduates this year, and I'm SO terrified that she might leave me behind and completely forget about her. Just the thought that she might grow old without me makes me want to run away from everything. We still talk sometimes and I KNOW she still has feelings for me, but she won't admit because he might find out. I don't know what else to do. None of the girls in town interest me. (It's a small town). And every time I see her I miss her more. I've already concluded that moving away or changing schools is not an option, so what can I do? I don't think I can get over her. I really need help. Thank you.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 January 2013):
 Time for some very PAINFUL TOUGH LOVE HERE.
She is your ex. She has moved on. You can sit in your room, and pine away for her but it won’t make her come back. She has already left you behind. I am sure she talks to you just to be kind and to avoid a scene at school. You could cut off your ear and present it to her in a box. IT won’t make her love you any more than it worked for Vincent Van Gough.
I would strongly suggest that if you can’t let her go to finish out this year. She will graduate and she will move on and then you can allow yourself to heal.
You believe she cares about you because you WANT her to care about you but if she did she would be with you. She is not with you because she is your ex.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (21 January 2013):
 She's made her decision. You need to let her go. Don't start any new relationships until you've done this. It wouldn't be fair on any new girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (21 January 2013):
 HI
Unfortunately as you pointed out, she has moved on. You need to let this go, it wouldn't be fair on her OR her new partner if you try to intervene, she would only hate you for it. I know you must be feeling hurt inside , this will get better with time. Maybe you should start to think about where you want your life to take you, whats your plans after graduating? make something of yourself, make yourself proud and achieve your goals, as for your ex what is meant to be will be, you can't force love on anyone, it will only hurt you more being rejected. She is obviously happy.
Mandy x
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