A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some serious mature advice. I do not want "do what you feel is right" kind of advice .. because honestly I do not know what is right no more. Okay, I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half but we broke up for 2 weeks due to complications. I met this one man while I was still dating my bf. I had sex with this new man when my bf and I broke up. This new guy knows my bf's brother, they worked together.. He felt guilty for having sex with me since he knew my bfs brother.. Im back with my bf again, but I seriously cant stop thinking about the guy I had sex with.. I made up with my bf at the club on Saturday, we danced and made out. That new guy came to that club just for me and I did not know. His best friend saw me dancing with my girlfriends and assumed I was just with my girls. But he ended up seeing me make out with my bf... I felt so bad. And my boyfriend wanted to fight him because he is such a drama queen! My bf knew I had a thing for him but he does not know we had sex, I kept on denying it which is horrible of me.. That new guy called me a bitch because he thought I lied to him about me breaking up with my bf :(What do I do? Im losing feelings for my bf, and this guy does not want to talk to me because he thinks I am full of drama!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): You jumped from 1 man to the next and back again? You shouldnt be with your boyfriend,you think about the other guy so go to him. Dont waste time with someone unsuitable. If the guy was right for you,there wouldnt have been this other guy in the picture.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 ok you broke up with your boyfriend of 18 months for two weeks
while on break you went out and had sex with this other guy that you really like
then you got back together with the boyfriend and lied to the boyfriend about having sex with the new guy...
and now the boyfriend is being a drama queen about the new guy who is being a drama queen about the boyfriend...
my advice:
let the new guy and the boyfriend be together and you find some new mature men to hang out with and don't sleep with someone on the rebound so quickly next time.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (12 November 2011):
 You haven't really reconciled with your ex. Were your complications resolved? I guess they were not since you only lose feelings for your boyfriend because it seems easier to screw up the old relationship and focus on how much fun you are having at the moment, than to work through problems. The right thing to do is to either amend things with your boyfriend, or to stay single for a while until you know what you want in life. I went through something similar few months ago and my boyfriend and I are still together. I know, the easy way out would be to start fresh but until you know how to resolve conflicts the same thing would happen again in the new relationship until you learn your lessons.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 You've been with your bf for a year and a half and you are still thinking about this drama?
Or, maybe you just didn't write it correctly? You are now back with an ex, and you've been dating for a week. You don't have strong intense feelings for him. And you like this other guy.
Well, it's just been a week, you and your boyfriend are just dating, nothing serious. Doesn't sound like you have a reason to be with him, feelings are fading, he is a drama queen, and you are starting the relationship off on a lie.
Thing is, if you get back with an ex the clock is rewinded and you start OVER AGAIN! Yes! You don't pick up where you left it, you start all over. So, it's been one week now with your boyfriend, not a year and a half. One week into a rocky and unstable relationship that after just one week wouldn't be called a relationship by anyones definitions. You need to date again, all over, get to know each other again, all over, flirt with each other again, all over, fall in love all over, experience each other all over.
Your boyfriend doesn't have any right to be upset about your fling with this other guy than he has a right to be upset about any other man you were ever with before you met him. Because you have started all over. And, when you start a new relationship, do you usually start it off with a lie and this drama? No? Then it's not going to work.
Your rebound with the ex wont ever work when it starts out like this. If you actually want a relationship with your boyfriend of now one week you need to have a serious talk with him about needing to start the relationship all over, and actually treat it like a NEW relationship, and not yesterdays junk. Which means dating a while, not having sex until it's been a good while, waiting with being officially a couple, falling in love before officially being a couple ect, just like you would with ANY OTHER new relationship.
And don't start a relationship off with a lie. If he is desperate to know who you slept with before starting a relationship with him (yes, start, not CONTINUE, you did BREAK UP after all, you didn't just hit a pause button), then he isn't emotionally stable to be with you. He needs to let it go and you need to start being honest.
You aren't losing feelings for your bf... you are losing old feeling you had for your ex. You need to treat this relationship as new, which means you haven't fallen in love with him yet. Hope you see the difference. Like in all relationships, old feelings need to die before you can start something new.
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