A
female
age
30-35,
*essmca
writes:Okay so on June 20th me and my boyfriend had a break up. I said some very mean things to him out of anger and I have been doing that and treating him like crap. He finally broke up with me and it took him about 2 days after that to realize he wanted me back. We just started to date 2 days ago because before that we were on a "break". When he broke up with me he called him mom and told her we were officially broken up and he said I was treating him like shit and being a total bitch to him. His parents are really hard headed people but surprisly his dad doesn't care he told my boyfriend it was his choice. His mom on the other hand once us to be on a break for a long time and my parents love my boyfriend and they know EVERYTHING that has gone down and his parents are kind of clueless about us getting back together and seeing each other behind there back.I have changed and we are treating each other a lot better then we did before and I love it. I think my boyfriend is afraid to tell his mom and dad about what has gone down and about us getting back together and it kinda makes me depressed thinking about it and how my parents are so open and they aren't understanding people. Also, my parents knows I love my boyfriend to death and that I wanna spend the rest of my life with him and my boyfriend told my mom that too. I wish his parents would understand but they would totally freak out if my boyfriend told them he wanted to marry me and be with me for a very long time. I really hate this and I some advice on how I can fix this with this parents.. Should I stay out of it and let my bf handle it? Or should I tell my bf to express it to his parents..? Help :/
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): your parents are ok because their child was the one in the wrong. we always forgive our own when they are in the wrong...(okay im talking about "normal" parents. its human nature to be more understanding and compassionate with our own...but when its our child that gets hurt...whew! its Katie bar the door!
consider this a proving time for you...you should be willing to spend time at that.
i remember my mother telling me this when i got married. i was very young and she couldnt have given me better advice. she said, "when you and xxxxx have a fuss...dont come and tell me. dont tell me how bad he acted or how he hurt your feelings. (this would not have included abuse) Because tomorrow you will have kissed and made up, and you will be so in love, and i will still be mad, because im not in love with him." hahahaha...my husband and my mother get along wonderfully to this day, when we see her she hugs him and tells him what a great husband, daddy, and son in law he is. and he loves my mom...(of course she has ways that drive him nuts, but he loves her and she him.
if you want your families to get along and like the bf/gf...do NOT tell them about your fights and fusses. because you will make up and be ready to move on, and they are still really upset. its just human nature and someday when you have children of your own, you will see this even more. i hope this helps, just be patient, be sweet, and dont expect miracles overnight. :) mal
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): My girlfriend and I are in the same situation minus breaking up. her parents know that we're madly in love and that we want to b together forever. but my parents would b totally freaked out if they knew that. but we just get over. just have him tell his parents that you guys are dating again. you dont have to tell them how in love you are or any of that, just that your dating again. everything will work out. relax girl :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): Coming from a strict family myself, I know what its like having to hide a relationship from my parents.
Usually, your boyfriend keeping the relationship a secret from his mom shouldn't trouble you. He just doesn't want to see anyone hurt; however, if it has come to a discussion of marriage, you definitely should get his mom use to the fact that your going to be in his life. Telling your boyfriend to tell her would be the right thing to do, because believe it or not, it is your business and you have every right to ask.
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