A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my bf and i broke up a few weeks ago. we went out for almost 3 years and now i am feeling horrible. i know we arent meant to be together cause i have had a lot of problems with him and have not been happy. so i am not regretting the breakup, but am missing the contact and attention.now i am having anxiety issues. i get so nervous to go out to places in case i see him. this is pretty irrational but i still get so nervous. i am always looking to see if i can see him driving his car. i know this sounds absolutely ridiculous but i really dont want to see him anywhere and im really nervous i might bump into him. i dont want to feel this way but i can help it. its becoming a bit too much. im really anxious a lot and i just want to forget him! can anyone pls give me some advice and their thoughts on thisthank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): This just happened to me too. Me and this guy broke up a few weeks ago and I was so scared I would run into him. I would be at my local supermarket and I was so scared that he was bound to see me there (which is ridiculous cause we don't even live in the same city!). So I just stopped going out altogether. I couldn't bring myself to go out for two weeks.
And then one day I just felt stronger and decided to go out. And when I did it wasn't that bad and I was no longer paranoid.
Break ups are hard and what you are feeling is normal. If you don't want to run into him, then listen to yourself, and maybe don't go out. Stay home until you feel ready to face the world. You don't have to force yourself to go out if you are not ready cause there is that chance that you might run into him and you are not ready to run into him just yet...so listen to yourself and for now stay in...if you give yourself the time that you need to get over this, even if that means staying home and not going out much, pretty soon your paranoia will subside and you will be able to go about your normal routine.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Hi I wanna give U advice hope it will help. The first thing U have to do is just blieve that U don't need this man any more cuz if U don't blive on it U can't just do that. then what u have to do is that try to ignore every thing that makes U to remeber him. That's the music that U were listen to gether, If there are places U go to gether just don't go. And the biggest thing I wnat U think of is that just go to silent plces then I'm I a strong girl? then Give your answer if U R heart says Yea I'm then Prove it & blive it that U R going to do it and sawing or meeting him is just nothig for U. IF U BLIEVE TRUST ME U CAN MAKE EVER IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Sweetheart no one can stop things from happening in life as what is meant to be is just that - MEANT TO BE.
Yes you are getting yourself so worked up and that is just not good for you.
The relationship has ended and whilst you say you are fine with that why is it that you are saying you miss the contact and attention. I think in your subconscious you would like that back and that is the fear that you are really worried about and seeing your ex is what the trigger seems to be.
You know your own mind and you need to remember the negatives of what was wrong in the relationship and from this you will mentally get much stronger so that if you do see him at all you can be amicable and wish him well.
You need to move on with your life and the fact is that it has only been a few weeks and you are trying to tell yourself that you had no feelings for this guy and it was all for the best that you split up. The problem is that a small part of you has your doubts and seeing him is what you think you might waiver on.
You cannot hide away as you need to make yourself strong again and by going out you not only prove something to yourself but also to your ex bf that you have moved on and you are not sitting at home moping around and crying your eyes out. Go out with friends whether they are female or male and get your strength from being with others. OK you can't always be with others but make yourself busy and join in on activities so that your ex knows that you are a strong young independent woman.
Why not plan a little trip with some female friends so that you have something else to focus on or just have a girlie night in with DVD's, doing nails and toenails and just having a laugh. You need that right now so make it happen, only you can do these things.
So the worst happens, you bump into him what is the worst that you imagine, you argue or you see him with someone new. That is what you want don't you. Just hold your head high, wish him well and say that you are great and now you can just walk away OK, don't hunch your shoulders and be scared to walk outside your door, you are young so live your life to the full.
Smile sweetheart you will get through this time and yes it will get better, you are just a bit emotionally bruised right now but hiding away NEVER solved anything it just makes you more paranoid and nervous. Be strong, you can do it OK.
Keep me posted on your progress.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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