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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Im a 17 yr old female.My boyfriend and I recently took a break and got backtogether.I recently told him what I did while we were taking a break.There was one day that I was out with my girlfriends and we met some good looking guys, introduced ourselves, flirted a little.we just had alot of talking to and meeting random ppl.we even met this band that was performing on the street who invited us to their show and i thought they were hot.This was all when we were taking a break.Later, when i told him this he WENT OFF!he had a totally different idea of what taking a break was and mines was different from his.he blamed me and said "how could you do that?you didnt even consider how that would make me feel?" he is my 1st real bf,longest relationship,been together about 3 yrs and i always seem to want to take a break just to see what im missing and what i see my friends doing all the time.i dont wanna hav ne regrets and i love him TO DEATH.2 questions:whats ur definition of taking a break?was i wrong to do what i did?is he right to get so upset with me?.....i didnt know what i wasnt allowed to do.he says that if i evr think about taking break again its over.im extremely depressed and terrified that thats gonna happen.please, please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): i am the anonymous asker of this question and i talked 2my bf and told him what u guys hav been saying about our situation.basicslly he doesnt care what any of u have 2 say and that there is no such thing as overreacting.he also said that u guys were using ur own pain to bash the person who hurt.Im sorry he said these things and once again i feel alone and lost in this situation
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): All of you have been very insightful.Its just that he knows that I wanna see whats out there and ive brought it up like twice before and he says that if i feel that way again, its over.thats fair to me but im absolutely terrified that we'll break up because of this.if theres one thing i know its that i want to lose my virginity to this guy(im not ready just yet) and two, i can see myself marrying him.he's so upset but he just wont break up with me .I get so scared sometimes i just start crying just thinking about if we were just friends.He's really a great guy.He's made bigger sacrifices for me than any1 else could even attempt to.what do i do now?
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A
female
reader, babybutton  +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Don't wory your flappin for no reason chick this guy is so into you! He's jelous that's all make sure you tell him instaead of a brake have space which means your together and are not to go near anyone else in that way. Xx your orite
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): There are two kinds of breaks, ones that include messing with other people and ones that do not. Both partners have understand and agree on which kind of break you're having ahead of time.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): Seriously!! Miss. he cannot control what you do. I mean, he doesn't own you. He can't make you do anything you don't wanna do. You can do what you want. but my first boyfriend was the same way, and he tried to control me all of the freakin time and i didnt wanna deal with it so we done like u done and he done the same thing and well after that i just ignored him until he calmed down but seriosly just chill out he will have to calm down eventually. Do what you need to to make ur realationship last,
And i dont know if this will help or not ..............
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): You and your boyfriend should have set down ground rules for your break, first of all. Secondly, all you did was think other guys were attractive and hang out with them. You didn't mention doing anything else with these guys, which isn't cheating in any capacity. Your boyfriend is making a bigger deal out of this than he should be.
You should be asking yourself why you want to take a break. You said you want to know what else is out there and see what you're missing. If you feel like you're missing something, you probably aren't as in love with your boyfriend as you think. If you feel like you're missing something, you're not satisfied.
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A
female
reader, Thegirlwiththepurplescarf +, writes (19 July 2010):
honey ! you need to get this guy told, can you see what he is saying to you ? He thinks he his the boss of you, dont let him control you. Breaks are sorry but normally a bad thing but the TWO of you need to discuss that. Dont let him make up your mind for you.You didnt really do anything so no he shouldnt have been angry, you should just point out you were on a 'break'. You might love him and yeah thats great but does he respect you. Hope this helps love :).
The girl with the purple scarf.xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): Ok
Number 1. I think when you go on a break you really should just take time to yourself and spend time with your mates however flirting is harmless at the end of the day.
Number 2. There is nothing wrong with finding other guys attractive. He will find other girls attractive but not act on them because you are the one and only person for him.
He should not have really had an argument with you about it. Sit him down and find out what he thinks a break is, if its just a small period time where you don't see each other or does he think its a small period time where you think about if this person is the one, is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
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