A
female
age
30-35,
*onfused_and_broken
writes:Well, I was in an eight month relationship. It ended on November second and I was devastated by it. He said he doesn't want his stuff back. But if we're broken up, what's the point of me having it? Everyone I have talked to has said that he'll be back and that I just have to be patient and give him time. Here are my questions. How much time do I wait? And why doesn't he want his stuff back? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Wontonbomb  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 I'd advise you to pack up his belongings and have a friend or family member take them off you. Thats what I did. My relationship of 2 years broke up last week and the first thing you need to do is clear your mind. I'm feeling the same way you are and trust me when I say you are going to suffer, but you will feel better sooner than you think.The first step to finding peace is to make changes. You need to remove all of his things to a friends and maybe change your image, perhaps take up a new hobby. Keeping busy is majorly important. This isn't an ultimatum for him, its just part of the cleansing process and if he does come back to you you can always put the stuff back.On the point of waiting I can say without question that you have to leave it to the person doing the breaking up. It may seem cruel or harsh that the person causing you so much pain is the one that gets to control the situation but you have to give them space. Smoothering somebody does not make you more attractive to them, and pushes them away. You need to give them time, and in that time fill yours up with friends, family and activities. He will contact you within a week if you do this, as somebopy cannot invest 8 months into something special and just walk away, it is impossible.I'm going through the same situation myself so if you ever feel you need to talk feel free to send me a mail on here.
A
female
reader, confused_and_broken +, writes (28 November 2009):
confused_and_broken is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, well. Here's everything that happened.
He said that he doesn't want his stuff back. He's been over to my house once since we've broken up. And yet, he still refused to take it. He said that he would get it later. He still tells me that he loves me and that he doesn't know if we'll get back together or not. He doesn't want me to get my hopes up and I just can't seem to move on; even though I know that it's probably the right thing for me to do. One of his friends said that I should tell him how I really felt, which I did. All he had to say to that was that he felt like shit. He promised that we would still talk and see each other, but he hasn't kept that promise. It doesn't surprise me that he hasn't because his dad took the phone away from him. But when I talked to him on the November 27th, he said that we would still talk and things like that. I just don't know what to do. And personally, I know there isn't another woman. Because guys just don't get boners from hugging someone, unless they really feel for them. Please, give advice. I don't want to give up on something I love dearly. /3
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