A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a man for about six months, and things between us are fine when we're speaking to each other in person. He acts like a gentleman, and we get along wonderfully. The problems surface whenever we're speaking online, a different side of him seems to come out and he tends to act depressed and childish. These are the only times we seem to get into arguments, and often it's because of his lack of tact. In these situations he becomes self-absorbed, and will focus on himself and his own negativity rather than so much as ask me how I'm doing. There have even been times when I've had to cancel our plans due to feeling ill, and he basically threw a hissy fit and became passive-aggressive, acting much like a spoiled child not getting his way. I'm not sure what to do, I've tried to steer the conversation in a more positive direction or at the very least change the subject, but nothing seems to work. It's only in then that in spite of having been in many relationships, it seem clear that he can be naive and inexperienced regarding others' emotions. I'm convinced he behaves like this due to being coddled by passive women in his past relationships.I don't intend to stop seeing him over this, because as I had mentioned, we get along well and never argue face to face. He's very sweet in person, and often very chivalrous (offers me his coat, opens doors, walks me home, etc.), so I'm often thrown off when he behaves the exact opposite. How should I go about handling this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): One girl I really like told me I am different online than I am in person too. I think most people are. When we are online, we get to hide behind a computer and can say whatever we want. We can edit it and put exactly what we want to say. Its really hard to understand why he behaves like this though. Maybe he wants to say some things to you in person, but he just keeps them to himself and waits till he talks to you online. I would suggest limiting the amount of time you talk to him online. If things are going great in person than just try to spend more time with him and not worry about signing on too much. If he still behaves like this and you cant take it anymore, than try to discuss it with him in person. Ask him if you talk to him differently or upset him easily online and try to get into why he acts that way.
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