A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:For my birthday my b/ of 2 years paid for me to have my nipples peirced which I have longed for for some time now. I mentioned it to my sister when we met up and word of it must have gotten round to Dad. He like totally went ballistic and when I chatted to him on the phone he made me feel terrible and was horrid to me. I went round to my moms that same day and just cried. She was so comforting and nice and told me not to worry about him, and promised to speak to dad, but as yet I have not heard back from him. I had my tongue done a few yrars ago and got grief from him then. If a guy does something like get a tatoo then its ok cos hes a guy. I love my b/f. i Iike my life and I like to do stuff. Im not a bad person I just enjoy myself and am so happy (was happy till dad) with my life. Now im like second guessing everything I do and feel terrible. Im not a slut or anything like that I am loyal to my b/f and we both trust each other and I would never dream of doing anything to upset him cos I love him so much . I just wanted to do it for me, for him cos it means so much to both of us in different ways. it makes me feel well naughty inside and special at the same time.Im not stupid, I know that I am pretty and have always been told that I have a great body and thats just it, its my body and, I just like guys, I enjoy sex. Our love making is so much much fun and exciting and I am totally hooked on it ..so what?.. When I showed Mom my piercings there were no histerics she was fine with it.I never want to hurt Dad or make him upset with me cos he is my dad but im so unhappy and have been so low and down on myself and I havn't wanted to have sex since my conversation with dad and that is so unfair to Len. He says he understands but I can tell he is fustrated cos we would like always enjoy ourselfs every night. What can I do to put things right please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2021): Hi Im so sorry to hear that you have had issues with your dad, that is never a nice thing. It sounds like he is still trying to look on you as his little girl. Do you still live at home or do you have a place with your boyfriend?. If you have moved out then your dad will just have to learn to accept that you have grown up and turned in to a woman. (with normal needs) It made me annoyed that one of the comments on this site appeared to ridicule you, and made a fuss about of all things spelling!! . Just ignore the nasty bombastic people that unfortunaltely everyone has to encounter in this world. Having piercings doesnt make you a bad person, trust me. Plus in my case, when I had mine done I looked upon it as being fun and a romantic, which I still think it is.Always have a smile in your heart, feel pity for all the snobs/ seflrighteous nauseating people who love to put others down and be yourself.( Readig it again I expect it was a bloke who wrote the comment.)ATB xxx
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 July 2021):
 OP, you KNEW before getting the piercings that he wouldn't like them and would make a fuss. It can't have come as a surprise. I mean, come on!
And yes, I can see why a dad of a BARELY adult daughter would make a fuss over "sexual piercings" - however, him not liking the IDEA of you having a sexual relationship and exploring who you are and what you want/like is kind of NO longer his business. I don't think that many dads would have been overjoyed here. LET's be honest. I got a tattoo at 24 and my parents were not too happy about it. Even though I had bought my first home, was working hard and absolutely not into anything "bad".
I think for you to expect that he would be happy about it... it's so unrealistic. I'm sorry.
Your sister told your dad. Or told someone who told him, THAT much is clear.
So what do you do?
Let him stew. If he is pissed at you, that is on him. Continue life, because LIFE does go on whether HE likes what you did to your body or not.
Accept that he doesn't approve. He doesn't OWE you to approve of this. Or like it one bit.
Like YCNBS said, if he gets verbally abusive about this, walk away you do NOT have to stand there and listen.
He will get over it.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (5 July 2021):
 Sorry honey, but it's time to put on your big girl panties and grow up. You are an adult in all ways bar your relationship with your father, where you appear to be stuck in the daddy/little girl relationship. You need to acknowledge and accept that you do NOT need your father's approval any longer. Of course it would be nice to receive it but it is not something you need in order to lead a full and happy life. If he chooses to kick off about your choices, that it HIS problem; don't make it yours.
The only way you can "fix" this is to determine how you will handle it. Stop feeling like you have to make amends to your father in some way. You have a choice of either laughing this off and telling your father, "I am a grown woman and, much as I love you, my life choices are MY life choices and if you don't like them then there is nothing I can do about that", redrawing the boundaries of your relationship, or you do as you are doing now and let his opinion ruin what should be happy times with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is being patient but his patience may have a limit. You do have a choice here and being an adult means sometimes having to do things of which others disapprove and living with the consequences.
Perhaps this is as good a time as any to decide where the boundaries should be redrawn in your relationship with your father. While nobody can make you feel bad about yourself without your acquiescence, he has no right to talk to you in a disrespectful way. While he has a right to his opinion - and piercings are not for everyone - you also have a right to have a different opinion. I suspect your father's disapproval stems from him being forced to acknowledge, firstly, that there is a man in your life who is more important to you than he is, and secondly, that you are no longer his little girl.
Bottom line: stop allowing your father to disrespect you. He needs to realize you are no longer his little girl and redefine the relationship he has with you. If he is being abusive in the way he talks to you, end the conversation and walk away. (I speak from experience as I had to do this with my own mother when I was in my early 20s. It was a difficult time but we ultimately reformed a much more balanced and respectful relationship which lasted until her death 20 year later.) You do have choices in this situation but, at present, you are making the wrong choice in allowing your father to disrespect you and in allowing his opinion to affect your happiness. Come on, you can do this. It sounds like it may be long overdue.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2021): Either you are an adult or a child. Your long moaning letter sounds like that of a child, a baby in his pram who is shrieking because an adult won't do what they want quick enough.Your dad is entitled to his opinion, he loves you and wants you to be safe, well and happy. He may think you are making yourself into a spectacle or allowing your boyfriend to use you as a sexual convenience, or turning yourself into a sexual object, it is up to him what he thinks. At your age just think about what you want and make it happen - be fair to other people - pay your way. Make sure you have good jobs, pay the bills, have a nice home to live in, and that shows that you are an adult and grown up. The rest does not matter. By the way it's ourselves not ourselfs.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2021): Why is your dad so obsessed with your nipples? I’ve never discussed my boobs with my father and I feel like you shouldn’t be as an adult. I say just ignore it, who cares. It’s your body not his.
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