A
female
age
30-35,
*arah1268
writes:Hi Everyone,I have been with my bf for almost 2 years, hes 21 and i'm 20. Everything is great. However, when we first started going out he was really close to this mate of his lets call him John. John at first was really nice to me we used to all go out together and get along. He was the nerd of the boys and my bf was actually the one to introduce him to the group. Anyway about a year later he gets his first gf. He was so in love no one saw him cuz he was always with her. The problem was that none of the boys liked her. And he knew this. anyway he was happy with her for about 6 months, pretty much ignoring his friends. Then she broke it off with him and hes taken it really badly, hes become this jerk who thinks he's better then everyone. John, who my bf considers one of his best mates, started telling him to break up with me! And that I wasnt good for him. Apparently hes started to tell everyone he hates me and Im a bitch. I've never done anything to deserve this. My bf is torn because he loves me and enjoys johns company. He told john to never talk about me again. But just the other day john sent out invites for his 21st on fb and he has invited EVERYONE, even people he met through me and left me off! I cant believe it! Its like hes trying to break me and my bf up or something. Now, to be honest if John was a good mate to my bf, he would repect him enough to invite me or make an effort. It makes things so hard because I want my bf to stand up to him about it, but I understand he doesnt want to loose his mate.What can I do?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2011): It sounds like your boyfriend DID stand up to John by telling him to stop talking about you.
Just because you weren't invited to John's party (would you really want to go anyway? you don't even like him), doesn't mean he's trying to break you and your boyfriend up.
Simply ignore John's immature behavior. He's acting out to express his feelings of sadness from his break-up because he doesn't know how else to handle it.
Unless your boyfriend encourages John's behavior (and it doesn't sound like he does), I don't think you have anything to worry about. Your boyfriend can think and function independently of John, right?
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