A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im seeing this great guy, so kind and caring and we get on so well. He has two children, this was hard but i accepted this, its hard sometimes as we cant spend loads of time together, but the real problem is his ex.....the kids mum, he can't say no to her, she will say can i borrow your car coz mine is dead and i need to take the kids here, and he can't say no as he feels the kids will miss out but he lives like an hour away from me so he wont be able to see me, or she will need a jump start for her car so makes him late to pick me up, he told me all this before i got with him, but i just dont know what i can do to make him see she is destoryin everything that brings him happiness, he just wants to please everyone.......what should i do? i am 23 hes nearly 30! I left a long relationship to be with him aswell, there must be something that is making me stay!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHes already told me hes not happy, and puts his ex high up becoz hes scared she will be a bitch and take his kids away.....nothing to do with being selfish, he wants to stop doing things for his ex that doesnt even effect the kids....but he doesnt know how to say no as hes to nice and doesnt care to much about his happiness just everyone elses.....so your advice was not any help at all...and id appriciate if you read what i wrote before you answer!!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Look, his happiness is about providing the best he can for his kids and looks after the mother because that directly affects those kids. He has his priorities straight. Your priorities, on the other hand, seem to be that you want to come first and that just ain't gonna happen. If you want a guy that puts you first, find a single one with no ex and no kids but don't give this guy a hard time for meeting his obligations as a father and making sure the mother of his kids is okay. He's destroying his happiness? Honey, I don't think so.
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