A
female
age
30-35,
*organ.lindsy
writes:Hello everyone,My boyfriend is 22 and am 20 we are doing long distance relationship,we are both going to different universities!I love him and he loves me.we have been together for a little over a year now!My boyfriend has a way of doing certain things that I can never understand!His way of interacting with girls is really not the best!But he has realized that and he said he is going to work on it!I know that trust is a given in a relationship,however there is also a level or respect and understanding of what's proper or not!I don't mind him having female friends at all,as I have male friends myself but I know where the line had to be drawn!Like he has girls writing they love him on his facebook wall,or party pics of him with a female friend on his lap,or in bed with girl friends retending to be sleeping on facebook,I would never do that!On top of everything the girls refused to remove those pics!Even though I know he Trusts me I wouldnt allow myself to be in position where I may call the trust he has in me into question.I know people can stray!I asked him what he did yesterday he told me he went to the movies with one female friend of his and then diner afterwards(he said she insisted a lot).I said ooh okay am glad you had fun.But why didn't he tell me before going?was he ever gonna tell me if i didn't ask?I am not the jealous type normally and he knows it but why does he do things like that?I certainly would never do that,I don't go to dates with other guys i go in groups yes,and if it's someone I have known my whole life i would 1-2-1 but even that I would tell my boyfriend first!I am looking at this the wrong way?Movies and dinner is date to me!I need your opinions.I wanna talk to him about it but it feels like all I have been doing with him is talking,the funny thing is at first he doesnt realize it then afterwards he comes to me and apologize saying how sorry he is and how stupid of him it was to do those things but why can't he think about it before going it?It feels like he is a baby to me and am suppose to baby sit him!I want him to know how to draw the line and am tired of always having to tell him that!What am i suppose to tell him this time?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 October 2011):
 maybe it was spur of the moment.
he told you after the fact it was not like he kept it a secret.
You guys are YOUNG and LDRs are hard even when you aren't young... and LDRs in college... should be outlawed... they make folks crazy...
would you be so upset if he had gone to dinner and a movie with a guy friend?
he has NO control over what his FRIENDS do or say to him... (i.e. what they write on his wall) the ONLY person he has control over is himself.
IF you trust him, then do so. I have ADHD and even at my very advanced age I sometimes don't think things through clearly and spend time going "I'm sorry"... I did it Friday to a friend who still is NOT speaking to me... I hurt her badly.... my boyfriend is just learning to become amused by my views of the world....
A
female
reader, Elydiese  +, writes (24 October 2011):
if you went out with one of your girl-friends for a movie and dinner it would just be an innocent chat and a catch up, if your boyfriend went out to watch a movie and grab something to eat it would be him meeting up with his friend so why is it only a problem if its a woman. He is entitled to have a part of his life that you dont belong to because everyone needs that space where you can just be you without your partner, he doesnt have to tell you everything he does just like you dont have to either i think you either have a lot of insecurities or just trust issues you need to work on
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