A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. This is not my first relationship, but I am my boyfriends first girlfriend. I'm wondering if maybe this is why he does the things he does, because he doesn't know better? When I go away for a few days, even if it is just a weekend, I think it is normal to tell him I am going away. But now I tried to call him today. His phone was off, when I text with him later I asked how he was he said he had gone away on a trip! So his phone was off because he had been on an airplane. He didn't tell me about going away, and it hurts me. But how do you explain this to him? I asked if I don't matter to him as he didn't tell me he went away, but he doesn't understand why I am upset about this. How do I explain this to him, and will he learn?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): Hi, we have been together a year. I talked to him about this before, but that was other things. This is the first time he goes away like this. But before, he could be busy for over a week, or be with other friends, without telling me I can not see him for over a week. And I said then I need to know if he will be too busy for me for several days.
Maybe he doesn't understand that he needs to tell me when he is away, but I wish he could tell me about plans and things in his life. I know nothing until I ask. I always tell him if I am going away, or go to parties, or if I am busy at work next week. But he says nothing.
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (9 June 2012):
Tell him that for future instances that it shows "care" when you tell each other where the other is going. Explain you are not stopping him from going anywhere. But just like you tell him where you are going, it is important that he tells you as well. Explain that he would never like it if you had done what he did, so it is important to consider the other person's feelings.
I know these seem like logical answers but this is what works.
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A
female
reader, katiekate  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 I think this is a prime example of explaining to him what happened and why it bothered you. If he continues to do this in the future, regardless of now knowing how you feel about it, then clearly he is insensitive and uncaring of your feelings and of the relationship. Until then, cut him some slack and just explain how you feel.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 This is obviously just the way he is, you have been honest with him now which is a good thing and maybe he will grow in time to realise it is important to you. How long have you both been together, and are you sure he is serious about you? I think you should wait until he comes back and sit down and talk to him and just explain to him how you feel.
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