A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2years wants sex almost every day. We have four kids and I work during the week. He works as well but he is his own boss. With 2 babies in the house he does help me during the nights but I feel tired all the time. When he wants to make love or like he says it sex and I don't feel motivated to comply, he gets cross with me and accuse me of cheating. He expects me to always be in the mood like he is. Sex is not a pleasure anymore but just another job where you don't get appreciated. How can I try and make him understand my feelings without him thinking I'm cheating? By the way just for the record I am faithful and haven't given him any reason to doubt me. His ex-girlfriends cheated on him and, as he says, he knows I will do the same. I'm just tired and depressed and sex isn't helping. I give in to his nagging and just open my legs so he can do what he has to and get off. Wrong, I know. But it isn't fun anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2014): Maybe you not wanting to have sex with him goes much deeper than you being tired. It may be a symptom that there is something you don't like what is going on in your relationship, so you feel like you are not in the mood to have sex. Me and my guy are in our mid thirties. We have 2 small children, both work and go to school full time. We are both very tired at the end of the day but we still have sex on average five times a week. Yes, some our what you considered quickies, but other times we take it slow. No amount of tiredness can keep us from not wanting each other. Yes, there are times we won't have sex do to our tiredness, but that is a very rare occasion, and we always make it up to each other the following night....or, we give each other a "handy" haha!! We love and respect each other, and there rarely is an excuse that we think is justifiable for not having sex with each other. You probably will be more willing if he wasn't accusing you of cheating all the time. He needs to respect your wishes and treat you like a queen. Treat you like you are the love of his life. If he was treating you in that manner on a daily basis, you will find yourself more in the mood...not just laying there taking it. So, figure out the real reason why you are never in the mood. Once you do that, sit him down and talk with him about it. Tell him things need to change and then he will see changes in your drive. Lack of sex in a relationship is always a red flag, it is a symptom of an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Good luck!!
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (5 June 2014):
 How on earth would you have the time or energy to cheat, with 2 young children in the house? He is being unreasonable, and possibly accusing you of cheating because he's cheating (or thinking of doing so). Don't let his accusations of cheating put you off continuing to discuss this with him. He is being extremely selfish. If you don't want to have sex, please don't just 'open your legs'. Tell him, you are too tired, you are not turned on. He has to make an effort in general so that you are less tired and then make an effort to make you feel loved.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI tried talking to him about it but was accused of being a cheater instead. He makes me feel sometimes that he is only interested in having sex instead of spending quality time. Talking, cuddling and kissing are so far in the past.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2014): Talk to him (when he's not trying to have sex) and explain how you feel!
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (3 June 2014):
Have you told him of about any of this? How you feel and why? That would be a starting point, assuming you haven't already.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2014): Explain what you have here. You're struggling to find time to relax, let alone be in the mood for sex. How did you end up with 4 children in 2 years? Does he do anything to help?
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