A
female
age
36-40,
*enNicole
writes:So here's the backstory... My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We've always had an adventurous and hot sex life. We are in our mid-twenties, no kids, and no rush. But he's the one, I knew it three months into our relationship. Anywho, he is very open to exploring anal stimulation, so we have many times. Fingers, tongue, toys, that's as far as we've gotten. We have talked before about threesomes and my boyfriend confessed that he fantasizes more about a threesome with two men, rather than the typical male fantasy of two women. He says it hasn't always been that way but his adventures with me have brought that out of him. From our talks, it seems he wouldn't be opposed if a man wanted to play with him as well as me. I don't think he's bisexual, just curiosity for now. But it is something that I want to explore with him so he can grow as a sexual human being. I have been with a female myself prior to our relationship so I fully support exploring all aspects of sexuality. So here's what happened. We were hanging out with one of my boyfriend's friends, drinking, chatting, having a good time. Boyfriend's friend has no filter and is asking my boyfriend and I very sexual questions (do I like anal, do I squirt, etc). It was all fun and games since we were all buzzing pretty good. I coyly refused to answer his questions but my boyfriend answered for me. His friend mentioned something about DP as well but the topic faded quickly for whatever reason. Fast forward to later that night: I'm tired so I say my goodbyes and go on to bed and leave the two to hang. Boyfriend comes to bed about an hour later and I wake up. Things get heated and I was very receptive. My boyfriend makes a comment about that DP conversation and how it must have turned me on. Then he asks me if I want him to invite his friend up to our bed... I wasn't expecting that for a minute. He seemed to know that his friend would definitely be up for it. My first thought were ...woah. I wasn't expecting a proposition like that so suddenly. I love the spontaneity but I wasn't ready. The thought of being intimate with another man, and especially his friend, almost repulsed me. I thought we would explore this eventually with a random stranger or someone that we would never see again afterwards but one of his friends? I told him I wasn't ready yet and I wanted him to think about it and I would do the same. I wanted to be sure that it was really what he wanted, and what I wanted. So I've been thinking about it for a couple days and the more I think about it, the more turned on I get about the entire thing! And I want to say YES, let's do it! But I'm still cautious... What if I enjoy it TOO much? What if it becomes a regular thing? What if my boyfriend loses respect for me or changes the way he feels about me when he sees me enjoying another man? What if things do get bicuriously explorative and he decides that's what he wants instead of me? Is he attracted to his friend and that's why he chose him? Or is based solely on the trust aspect he has with that friend? I have so many reservations, but the explorer in me is itching to do this. Like I said, he's the one. I don't want to risk losing that. Advice please!!
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best friend, sex life, squirt, threesome Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2014): I wouldn't do it, you don't realise it yet but if you went through with it you'd lose value in his eyes even though he wanted it initially. Letting you be shared with his best friend would take you away from that prized girlfriend position into a more toy = like position where they think they can play with you and disrespect you.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 December 2014):
 Then don't do it. You're nervous and have a lot of "what if" thoughts. So why push it? If he's "the one" (I hate that idea, because there's no such thing, but anyways...), then I guess you mean you will be with him for the rest of your life? In that case, you can do this on your 20th wedding anniversary, or something. No rush. Some things need to be explored later on, you don't have to do everything in a hurry. Right now you are insecure. So I say don't do it then. Your first reaction of repulsion at the thought also says it all, to me.
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A
female
reader, JenNicole +, writes (8 December 2014):
JenNicole is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've thought about that also. Only problem is I think he is over using toys for that stimulation and I think he's curious if "the real thing" feels differently. Maybe you're right though. I think I'm going to talk to him about everything tonight. It's been three days since his proposition and neither one of us have mentioned anything since... Last night we got physical and he was very much into anal and using toys for DP, which kind of reiterated to me that his proposition was a serious one. He took many pictures as well and in the back of my mind I wonder if he plans on sending them to his friend? He's a hard one to open up. I can't force answers out of him, I've always had to wait until he comes to me and decides to be open. Thank you for the input though, I don't want to let one desirable night of fun destroy what we've built.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 December 2014):
 Instead of bringing a third into your bedroom playground (I've BTDT and it destroys more relationships than I care to mention) I suggest you go treat HIM to a big old strap on for you to wear.
THEN YOU GIVE IT TO HIM... fantasy is so much more fun anyway.
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