A
female
age
30-35,
*wincess-pinder
writes:Hi im 14 and ive been goin with this lad for about 3 weeks i know my mum wont freak about me having a boyfriend because she has known of others in the past but i dont wanna tell her anymore about them and next week my boyfriend has asked me to go out with him for the day and then sleep at his this means telling my um about him and aking her to ssleep even worse. my mum is a social worker and works with girls my age who have got themselves into messes with lads so she is protective over me. what should i do because im scared if i dont tell my mum and dont sleep next week he will finish me helppp desperatley!! please..thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (18 August 2007):
 I used to work as a social worker and I know about the sorts of things your mum would be encountering professionally - she has every right to be concerned about you and I can imagine she would be very protective. It would be a sign of immense parental love and you may find it stops you doing what you want at the moment but later on you may come to understand her point of view. Her clients often come from families where no one really does care what happens to them!
At 14 I would never recommend anyone sleeps with a boy for a variety of reasons like its illegal, you may regret it, you may not be emotionally ready and you have to deal with contraception etc. You have made it clear that you are thinking about sleeping with him to keep him - it is the oldest anxiety in the book I am afraid. Unfortunately the only test of your relationship is not to sleep with him - if he sticks around despite no sex then he really does like you and respect you and he is worthy of being your boyfriend. However, if he hints at leaving if he doesn't get his way or he loses interest just because you don't want to have sex then he is no loss to your life. I understand you may really adore having a boyfriend and all the attention is wonderful but your self respect comes first always. You could have sex with him and he could leave anyway...it happens all too often!
A
female
reader, broken babe  +, writes (18 August 2007):
 to sleep over? if youve only known him 3 weeks then sex seems a bit far to go and if he dumped you for not sleeping with him than hes either a pervert or a complete jerk you may not want to hear this but does he really like you alot or is he just another boyfriend but besides that if you do go make sure to have condoms
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