A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. We have had a long distance relationship(the 1st 4 yrs we were 3 hrs away) then 5th yr he moved to Europe for school and we decided to stay together. I loved to europe to to join school as well. Now this yr he has been really fussy saying I am not giving him his space. He has his own apartment and I live with a friend. I gave him some space but then we had an exam for i stayed with him and studied for 2 months and just stayed for x mas break. he didnt mind till after the test was done he brought up oh we are not together. He also started telling his friends which I thought was unnecessary. I just feel hurt because I feel like he makes the decision of taking a break or needed to be apart every time. It is never a mutual decision which I think it should be. ALso I just want know why he feels like he needs a break and he says "to see if I really miss you" something weird like this. He does say though that he sees me in the future with him. I really do love him but I just feel like what if he feels like this again when I am married to him or something? Should he discuss his problem instead of just need a break? DO you think it is because he has never had me so close he doesn't know what to do? i dunno I am so confused and don;t really have anyone who wants to get involved since we have so many mutual friends.
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male
reader, stayshock +, writes (7 September 2017):
The problem is: "He's in Europe"..... for him... that's like living as a Mormon in UTAH and going to California State University during spring break. ODDS ARE:Sad to say but if he's in a new environment then he is having issues containing himself. He found another OR realized the array of women at his finger tips and usually ....the word "space" for a guy means he wants to explore other options. He's trying to put some distance between you two in an attempt to call it off and be guilt free. You might have to lose him for a while until he gets in perspective again what's worth it and what's not.Obviously he still cares if wants to go do things with you but he's rather annoyed by you or he wants to see the new landscape of women available to him.
A
female
reader, longtimegf  +, writes (30 April 2010):
i think you should seriously think about putting an end to this, because if you talk it out and he says he wants a break, he seems to be taking you lightly, doesnt think you are serious to get involved with and stick with it. I personally dont believe in "breaks" in a relationship.
if he really truely wanted you, loved you, he will not be saying stuff like i need a break. This is not an easy decision to make, as each year goes by, you will have a lot of mutual friends, maybe even activities that you do as a group which he will be in, but i think sticking with him will be detrimental to you in the long run.
I hear your sadness, despair etc, but i dont hear him needing you as much as you need him, im sorry, hope talking things out will make things better.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 There are many reasons he could be acting like this. Perhaps his experiences in living and studying abroad have changed him and he doesn't feel the same way he did before.
He says that he sees you in his future...I'd take a look at those words twice...what good are the words when he's showing you by his actions that something is not right?
You have been with him for a long time, I think you should be able to sit down and have an honest discussion with him. You just need to tell him that you have sensed that things are not right and that if he cares about you he will be honest with you.
I think he's come at a crossroads and he's not sure which way to go. He's not sure if he wants to continue but ending something which has been going on for so long is hard to do. Him saying he needs a break is his way of saying that he needs time to figure out which way he wants to go. The fact that he's said that he sees you in his future only served to calm you down while he makes his mind up.
If I was you I'd figure out what I want from him and what I will and will not put up with. You can't be hanging around while he pushes you away and makes relationship decisions without you. You need to have a say in all this. Only way to do that is to figure out what you want and need and then talk to him.
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