A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend is getting annoyed with men who speak to me on facebook. I put a status up and the same people will comment all of the time. I put a new picture on and the give me all these compliments and its really getting on his nerves. He messaged my frienss dad telling him to stop talking to.me so he blocked me. A guy commented on my status last night and he baaically started an argument with him. He wasnt being pervy or anything it was just basic chit chat. I deleted the status and had a row for not standing up for my boyfriend. He's ignoring me now and said all I ever do is flirt on there. I talk to people in a jokey way but he recons its flirting. Well I could understand his upset if he didnt have girls posting pictures of themselves on his wall, women invox him he speaks to his ex from along time ago all of the time and to me it looks flirty. He told me I cant dictate who he speaks to but Im getting the cold shoulder because men speak to me. This is all so childish and hes 36. I dont know what to say to him to make it clear I dont go on there to flirt but just to chat to people. SHould I even pander to his tantrums? what should I do x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): No i dont go on there to flirt with people at all. Yes his behavioir bugs the hell out of me, yes men talk to me but it isnt at all flirty, for example I said I cant wait to go camping with my BOYFRIEND this weekend and a man twice my age who I actually know in real life who has a wife said oh it'll be great the weather is going to be lovely. How on earth is that flirty? I dont go on facebook to keep my options open I like being in long term realationships I wouldnt be with a man if I like keeping my options open.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): You are both playing a childish game of tit-for-tat. Using Facebook as a chess game. You have bigger problems. You both set double standards. You are in fact flirting. If the guy isn't in your regular circle of friends, and he is single; he should be spending his time chatting with single women. Single young heterosexual men, do not waste a lot of their valuable time just chatting on Facebook with ineligible women. I know better than that!Come on, apart from family members; no one knows you better than your bf or your gf. You can read through each others little games. You are giving it back to him; because you resent that he speaks to his ex, other women, and he persists with this disrespectful behavior. He is a total jerk, with no regard to your feelings. You are acting in spite and vengeance.I call you on it. As for your boyfriend; his suspicions are born out of his own guilty behavior. He is up to no good; therefore, he believes you're up to the same. You are! It's your way of getting back at him for doing things you feel you have no power to stop. He's an emotional bully and he's over-possessive.You chose the wrong type of guy for a boyfriend. You can't change him, so you have to dump him.It is totally innocent to strike up conversations with people over Facebook. That is, when there is no other motivation, other than being friendly. You so carefully detailed your boyfriend's actions; that it is a dead giveaway that you don't like it. What angers you, is his audacity. His blatant disregard; when he knows you don't like it.When you both come clean with each other; maybe the problem will be resolved. I doubt it will. He is a jealous controlling hot-head. It will end when you tire of his crap and decide to breakup. You will not be able to tolerate this guy for much longer. So you are on Facebook to keep your options open. He knows it. Guys like him are hard to draw compromise with; as you have come to know. He has no right to block anything on your FB page, and confronting people you talk to is freaking crazy.You can continue this foolish dance, or you can kick that A-hole to the curb. I can read your mind through your post.I bet you already have his bags packed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): I didn't say that I flirt on there...HE says I flirt on there. I talk to people and he doesn't like it. Ive spent the day apologising I don't know what else to do. Yep I think he's childish.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 July 2013):
 the rules have to be the same for both partners.
either you can talk to anyone you please just like he can or neither of you can talk to anyone else (childish and immature)
personally I would tell him that his arbitrary rules just show how insecure and childish he is and it's probably better if you part ways.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): Sounds like he is imposing double standards, and you are doing what you dislike him doing.I think you need to both agree on what the 'boundarys' are for your relationship, and make sure it applies to both of you. Decide between the two of you, what is acceptable, and what is not acceptable, and you both live by it. If you can't agree, then it will continually cause problems.If he would be comfortable with you never communicating with men, and you can live with that, then you would expect the same from him. If he can't do it,then you don't have to do it. He can not TELL you what is acceptable, ( and viceversa), he can tell you what works for him, what he will allow in his life, and then you decide if you can live within his requests. again, he can only request what he is prepared to do himself (and viceversa).If it is important for your bf to keep in touch with his ex, and you can live with that, then he has to allow the fact that you may/will do the same (if not an ex, then a male friend).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): I talk to men as friends, I post pictures of my boyfriend on there, my profile picture is of my and him. It says I'm in a relationship. The status I put up yesterday was about a barbeque and he was mentioned in the post. I try talking to him saying that women talk to him in a flirtatious way but he always says to me it's innocent. How can it be ok for him and not for me?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): You have a few options. 1. You both delete your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and any other social networking site account. 2. When one has a problem the other respects them n take it down delete it or block that person. 3. You can lead by example by deleting all those men who aren't family n block them. Give him time if he follows your trend then he cares, if he don't then let's move to 4. Reconciling is a no winner....break up n part ways. Too many difference, too stuck in set ways.Start fresh with someone who can sacrifice for u n u for them. Best wishes xoxox
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A
male
reader, Helloduckiexox +, writes (2 July 2013):
 Not worth your time.. Stupid argument . He is a grown ass man. If he that jealous then there isn't a reason to be with him
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