A
female
age
41-50,
*HU
writes:Hi there, My boyfriend has just taken his first overseas holiday with one of his mates. He's had a very rough couple of years and I'm excited that he's getting the chance to travel as I've done much of it myself and it's my passion. However, in the 2 weeks that he's been gone (he returns next week) he hasn't contacted me at all. Before he left, I said to him, "Give me a call if you like, I won't call you". We've been together for about 3 years and he wants me to move in with him when my lease expires at the end of the year. We chat every day normally, and see each other a few times a week.Before he left, I told him not to be alarmed if he doesn't miss me much because when travelling, you're cramming so much into your time and everything is so new and exciting that you don't really have the opportunity to miss people (I went to Europe last year and only texted him a couple of times, I missed my small niece the most! He didn't attempt to contact me while I was away).Like I said, he's had a rough couple of years and was very stressed about things before he left, to the point where I felt he was taking it out on me, which made me uncomfortable. Needless to say, I put him in his place and told him that I would not tolerate it.I guess my problem is that I'm just not used to having no contact at all with him. I won't attempt to contact him while he's away, as this is the first time in his life he's ever had the opportunity to be completely free. His last long-term relationship was incredibly stifling and he was never "allowed" to do anything for himself.Should I be worried he hasn't contacted me or should I just let it go? I guess it doesn't help that the mate he's travelling with is a total party animal who will pick up any woman that takes his fancy... makes me rather uncomfortable. Thanks very much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): I think everything is okay, except that it is never a good idea to hang out with bad company, is he the sort to be sensible around his mate or is he a bit green about how to deal with lose woman coming on to him? Obviously he is tha faithful type that loves you, but I would be feeling uncomfortable too. Perhaps he just needs to spread his wings before moving in with you, it would good to hear from him though right?It seems strange that he hasn't texted seeing as you did while you were away - my best guess is that he took you at your exact word and figured that the boundary was that he is freeee, so that = in his mind, x2 texts for her is all good because she has traveled heaps and none for me because I have not.Is there a sneaky way to get peace of mind and finding out what he is up to without going over the 'free' boundary. Has he been posting on Facebook for example. On the otherhand if I were you I would give in and text him unless you think that is going to damage your trust, aw this is a hard one:/ Perhaps you should just confirm your plans to pick him up at the airport, on the other hand I guess he will contact you about that when he needs to.
A
female
reader, MartinaA  +, writes (1 March 2011):
Relax!
You said your self being on a holiday you don't have time to worry about what's half way across the world!
He has had a few bad years, give him a chance to loosen up!
I went on a holiday recently and my bf at the time was constantly calling and accusing! We are not together need I say more?
Just relax and use this time for your self:)
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A
female
reader, boredofit92 +, writes (28 February 2011):
wow you have willpower! You two seem to have the kind of relationship where this would be seen as an okay thing to do- personally if it was my boyfriend on holiday i would be really annoyed. Why dont you drop him a text asking him how its going? that is in no way overbearing and will probably make you feel alot better once he texts back !
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