A
female
age
41-50,
*alliejo
writes:Last week my boyfriend left his MSN open. I went into it and seen that he had been messaging a girl. The messages were not of a sexual nature however he was saying that they must mail in secret so that I would not find out, he was saying how bad our relationship was and he wasn't sure what to do about it. From the messages as well I could see that my boyfriend had actually asked to meet up with this girl on 2 seperate occasions (both of these occasions when he was out on lads nights). Down to circumstance he has not actually met with her. I confronted him about this but he said he just wanted to meet as mates. I am having trouble believing him... why would he talk to a girl in secret... then arrange to meet up.... basically behind my back? He says he see's my point of view about the deception thing but there was nothing in it...
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 January 2009):
It is very possible for him to have female friends, even if he just met them on the internet.
BUT!!
He lied to you, he made it clear to her that their friendship was a secret from you, and he was talking about all your problems and about how unhappy he was.
If this was innocent then he would not have lied to you. If it was friendship then he would not have told her that it had to be a secret.
I really wouldn't trust him. Since he's been talking about how many problems you guys have, the simplest solution is to end it.
If you want to work through this then he has to be honest with you even if it's going to hurt you and then you have to sort out all the other problems so he doesn't feel pushed towards any one else again.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 I wouldn't trust him any further then I could throw him. If your relationship is so bad he should either break up or work on it, not look for a replacement. And yes, I would guess he is looking for a replacement or something on the side.
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