A
female
age
30-35,
*ublyuYa
writes:I've been dating a wonderful guy almost a year that is funny, caring and a lot of fun. We live together, and he has helped me deal with the stress of losing most of my friends when starting university and get past many insecurities. I have an extremely strict mother so before moving out even though I finished an advanced program in high school with high enough marks to get a couple of big scholarships, she would always tell me I don't deserve to have fun yet and shouldn't even mention the word in front of her. This resulted in me barely seeing my friends or anyone outside of school, rarely going to parties although I always ached to, and even during the summer worked full time and worked out the rest of the time, rarely seeing my friends and getting any of the fun experiences people my age usually get. My boyfriend is the complete opposite- his parents let him out whenever, so he partied lots in high school, and the summer before meeting me went out to a party/friends house/club/bar almost every single day. He constantly talks about how fun it was and every time we watch a movie that has partying it in he has to mention how much he misses that. It kills me every time he says this. Obviously he can't stay out till 3am every night now that I live with him, and he has to work and help me pay for the apartment and such, and feels guilty I often stay home when he goes out (because most of my friends are either out of town or are not reliable to follow up on plans). Even though he later insists he loves me much more and it's worth it, it feels like I'm ruining his life because he had such an amazing summer and no matter how hard I try and help and make this summer better it just can't seem to compare. What should I do? I'll feel selfish if I tell him I don't want him to talk about stuff like that, but otherwise I don't know how to bring this up, or whether I am just holding him back from having a fun life, something he could probably find with a party girl.. I love him immensely and don't want that but maybe I am just in denial - Help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): I understand what you mean..because you are used of having a striked and tight lifestyle and he's used to partying but maybe he should know you can't do that all the time anymore because you have responsibilitys and things to do I would sit down with him and talk about having a night out you with your friends and him with his or you could all go together.. and you could have friends come over when you guys know you are free and have nothing to do the next day... I hope my little advice does some good and good luck
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