A
female
age
36-40,
*ady's little girl
writes:hiThis is my little sister who had a problem and i really dont know how to help her (she uses my email cuz her bf has her email password and she dont want him to see the question)hi im a sixteen years old girl , im loving a guy and he is also loving me since we were tiny but we didnt relat till the last year, before he was my best friend and i already know everything about him he attracted me cuz he i and every one saw him so polit and a really good person , when we got in a relationship we got closer (forgot to tell u that i and he r sparted from like 5 years he is in a country and im in another country i just saw him twice in this period but we always talk in the internet and in the phone and stuff ) so when we got closer he started to tell me things that really smashed me he said that he drinks smokes and sometimes he smokes drugs i feelt so shoked i talked to him many times about that he always tells me that i will change 4 u but when i ask him to get off thore things he promises me to then after days he comes and says im sorry i couldnt keep the promise then i got sad and even cry he says okay babe dont be sad i will get of them then the same thing happen again now when i talk to him about this subject he seems like to try to change my idea about those things he says whats life all about ? lets enjoy our youth i tried with all i have i got so devastated i discovered that he is even watch porn movies and he started to talk with me about what he watches and i dont really feel comfortable when we have those talks , im pretty sure that he loves and he always talks seriously about our future together and im believing that he is a really good guy but his bad friends in the othes country that he went to affected , i want to geet back my lovely polit lover as when i fall in his love, plz help me how? btw he is my age
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best friend, drugs, period, porn, smokes, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Your very welcome, i hope you have a good future.
A
female
reader, Dady's little girl +, writes (23 November 2010):
Dady's little girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim really thankful auntt
Merci beaucoup
ur words gave me the hope
That is exactly the best solution that i wanted to have
Thnx alot again
i will do so.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (23 November 2010):
Yes it is possible that he will change, some people in there teenage years tend to think that they can do all these things as it is part of growing up, you sound mature and you dont want to see him drinking or taking drugs i would be exactly the same, just keep telling him how worried you are about him, and that you are scared he is turning in to a person that is not him, tell him he doesnt need to take these things that he is a great guy without them and you dont want to see him destroy his life.
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A
female
reader, Dady's little girl +, writes (23 November 2010):
Dady's little girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for ur answer
he is still a teenager
is it possible that he will change?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (22 November 2010):
Im afraid there is nothing you can do to help him, as you have tried and he hasnt listened, am afraid he just needs to realise himself that he is doing wrong and stop it, nobody can make him stop but himself. Sorry.
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A
female
reader, Dady's little girl +, writes (22 November 2010):
Dady's little girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfirst thanks alot for answering me yeah we will be in the same place like after two years, i dont want to leave him and look 4 another guy i dont want to a relationship just 4 having fun, im in a relationship cuz i love him and he loves me and its imposible 4 me to love another guy and also we r not the only couple how is in a LDR also his family is friend with mine and they r all good , but as u told he is a teenager and teens can be easily affected by the bad friend even thought they r really good, so im believing and pretty sure that there is a good person inside him he has a very sensitive heart he always helps his friends nd ppl without they ask him he is smart ,gentil ,clever in the school and he is so handsom he has everything that makes anygirl wishes that she were in my position .. but my question is how to wake the good person inside him up?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (22 November 2010):
Ok well first of, if he lives in another country and you have only saw each other twice in five years then were do you feel this relationship is going? You need to spend quality time with someone to know if you love them or not, you need plenty of face to face contact. Is there any possibilty that you will be nearer to each other soon? Because if not then i think it is best that you finsh things and get with a boy that lives near you and that you can spend time with.
As for him drinking and doing drugs this is his own choice and you are not there to see him therefore he is not going to listen to you, you cant see what he is doing therefore he is going to keep doing it you cant stop him, it might very well be that he is addicted now and therefore you need to make up your mind if you want to be with a guy that does these things, because am afraid you arent going to be able to change him no matter how hard you try.
As for the porn it is normal for teenage guys to watch this therefore that shouldnt be a problem but if he is making you feel uncomfortable talking about it then tell him that, and tell him you would rather not no.
I honestly think the best thing you can do hear is be friends with him and nothing more, there is no future if you both live so far apart and dont get to see each other. Also it is not healthy that he has your passwords, that is an invasion of privacy, so go on now and change them.
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