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Boyfriend said he can't be with me because I had sex for money while we were broken up

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm a 28 year old woman I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year now we recently split up ironically because he didn't trust me but we were going to work things out before we did though I had to tell him something I did because it was killing me holding it back from him and if we were going to make things work I wanted to start with a clean slate a month into our relationship

we argued and he left me he said he never wanted to see me again at that point he hadn't even said he loved me even though I'd said it I didn't think there was a chance to get back together I was hurt and wanted to stick 2 fingers up to him so went and had sex with 2 people for money I know that's bad!

I used to do that before I met him and he knew about it and hated it the next day he asked me round to talk and we got back together and he told me he loved me for the first time ever since then I've been 100% faithful I just never told him about what I did I was too scared of loosing him now I've told him he said he can't be with me anymore and thinks I've done more than I've admitted to which I haven't

can our relationship ever get over this? what can I do to get him back and make him trust me again do you think there is any hope for us? Do you think it was that wrong what I did considering I thought he'd left me and it was only a month in? I'd really appreciate any input and advice please I really love him

View related questions: get back together, got back together, money, split up

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (12 April 2015):

Ciar agony auntOP, the 'trust' is not simply about being able to rely on you to be honest. It's about being able to trust you to exercise sound judgment, to act as a reasonable and mature person would. And by your own admission, you haven't.

You chose to prostitute yourself for money and use him as the excuse to do it. That says a lot about the kind of person you are. He doesn't want to make a big investment in you and honestly, I can't say I blame him. If I were dating someone I later learned was a former rent boy, I would lose interest too.

I think you have to let this one go, and consider it a learning lesson. Maybe take a step back for a while and re-examine some of your choices.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2015):

Oh dear! Somebody needs to grow up, and not your boyfriend!

Sorry, as a woman- a self respecting woman, selling sex is not something I would do for all the money in the world. My body is my boyfriends benefit, nobody elses.

He does not want to be with you because you cheapened yourself for one, and the fact that he probably can't get the image of you riding some guy for rent out of his head!

The sad thing is, your boyfriend will get over this, you Infact have to live with this. So in effect, you tried to stick two fingers up to your boyfriend, but it backfired.

Next time you have a row, put your woman boots on, have a good cry and eat chocolate in bed for a week....ALONE!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2015):

so what did you tell him? That you used to prostitute yourself out for sex before ? And then was this what cause him to go out in the first place?

Tbf love if I found out a girl I was dating used to have sex for money then I wouldn't react very well.

But then after the argument you went and done the same thing again with 2 other men?

Can you see why he is pissed off about it.

Ok it was nice of you to be honest about it but even though blokes want there ladies to be slags in the bedroom they dont want them to have that reputation .

good luck

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 April 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI think you need to stop being with this.

He can't accept your past.

And I think you NEED to realize that prostituting yourself (sex for money) is not something most people want in a partner.

I don't really see how YOU having sex for money is "sticking two fingers" at him? YOU are the one who get screwed over.

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