A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, thank you for taking the time to help. My boyfriend of almost two years (who is also my first boyfriend ever, first kiss, everything but sex [I'm a virgin]) slept with another girl repeatedly in Sept 2009 when we broke up for a period of about a month. We broke up after he lost his cousin and became extremely distant from me and would not turn to me for help or anything after my offering myself in every way (almost begging to help and be there.)When we got back together after a month, and discussing what had gone on during our time apart, he confessed to sleeping ONCE with this girl he saw a couple of times. I was devastated to say the least. A few months later, while we were joking around, he accidentally agreed that he slept with her more than once. For some reason after these revelations, I started going out with friends more and drinking much more than I ever have, to the point of getting tipsy and emotional.That led to my kissing another guy and seeing him often during social events. We kissed about 4 times in total. Furthermore, I ended up making out with another guy who I have known for years and had confessed his love for me prior to my meeting my current boyfriend. I have since stopped communicating with both of them after realizing destructing myself will do neither myself or my boyfriend good.I don't feel bad about doing it, which I guess is bad? I feel like my boyfriend almost deserves it, but I have never told him. I know he will get very angry and stop talking to me for a while, but he and I are so much in love and almost engaged (he gave me a diamond promise ring last week) that it will work itself out.Should I tell him? Thank you and sorry for the lengthy note.
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broke up, cousin, engaged, got back together, kissing, period, sex with another Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Thank you all for the feedback. He refuses to "talk about his past" anymore so whenever I bring it up he just gets angry and shuts down and it really gets to me. I have to see whether I'm strong enough to tell him about the kissing, but I agree that it's something that has to be done.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): This isn't a good relationship, he's already broken the trust and has shown no respect for you by sleeping with this girl more than once, and you're going off kissing other guys. You are boyfriend and girlfriend only in name, maybe you think you have some claim to each other but is this really what you want? You dont trust him, he has hurt you, trust me your relationship wasnt destroyed by your behaviour, it was destroyed the first, the second, the third time he chose to sleep with someone that was not you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): I would question if he loved you since he slep with the girl so soon and so many times after the breakup??!?!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): What you have done is cheating on him regardless of whether you feel guilty about it or not. He did things while you were broken up but you have been doing them while you are back together.
So I view it like any other kind of cheating. He deserves to hear the truth. He has the right to make up his mind if he wants to be with someone that does this to him.
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