A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice!!!I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and we have been living together for 3 years! We had our ups and down during the 5 years together! But recently, I met someone new and although at the beginning I thought it was just a phase it has turned out to be a lot more than that! I have kinda started seeing this new guy, although its not easy as he works shifts and not easy to arrange the time. I have slept with the new guy and I feel bad to my current boyfriend. So I thought to end it with my boyfriend. I didn't tell him there is someone else, although he knows it well as he knows I have been going out at weird times etc. But my boyfriend just pretends that its nothing...I really don't know what to do? I tried to seperate because I feel bad for being with someone else behind his back. But he doesn't want to move out? And then the thought came to my mind..what happens if I leave my boyfriend for this new guy and then this new guy is not the one???The new guy has asked me to move in with him....Who do I choose? Please Please HELP me... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lostone  +, writes (27 December 2008):
I think you should spend some time away from both of them and do some serious thinking. Five years is a long time and all relationships have their ups and downs. Do you love your boyfriend and do you see a future with him in it? What are the main reasons that caused you to cheat on him? Was it really because this new guy is so much better or was it because something was amiss in your relationship and instead of solving it together, you chose an easier route out of the relationship and a more painful one for him? You need to ask yourself these questions and find honest answers. The fact that you're worried the new guy might not be the one shows that your bf has been doing something right, something that you'll probably miss if you up and leave him.
Ultimately you're going to do what makes you happy, you just need to decide what that is. If you decide that's the new guy, break it off with your boyfriend a.s.a.p. so you don't cause him any more pain and don't go running back and playing with his heartstrings. If you stay with your boyfriend, you need to have an open conversation about what is going wrong that is causing you to shift your attention elsewhere and work on your faithfulness because his trust in you will be all gone. It will be a tough time to rebuilt that but if it is worth it... you need to make a decision before anyone else gets hurt.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Choose the new guy, you broke your releationship with your boyfriend, you've probably been putting him through something terrible if he's pretending that he doesn't know. He'll be better of without you sorry to say, it'd be best to set him free than make him end up with someone who doesn't know what she wants and is as unfaithful as you.
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