A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and recently he got a job 2 hrs away from the city. He asked me to move with him and it was lucky enough that I could transfer offices. So I've been living in a new town for 2 months with him and everything is going great until he accepts another job back in the city. I can't believe it, because I pushed for a transfer and it would look very unprofessional if I just moved back to the city with him, if I even have a job there now. Should I move back to the city,or should I stick it out in this new town and just see him on weekends? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (11 October 2012):
 Hi
Not very considerate of him was it? Sounds like its all about him.
If you don't want to move, can you afford to stay? I would, it doesn't look good if you ask to transfer back so soon. Also, consider if you want to stay with your man,he has to learn that you have a life too and can't uproot it just because he wants.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 October 2012):
 Woah! That's incredibly selfish of him! Did he not even discuss with you the possibility of him moving back to the city? Did he even discuss with you that he was looking into accepting a job back in the city, and if so why he was looking into that?
I agree, it is totally unprofessional of you to be jumping jobs like this, based on a whimsical boyfriend. It was bad enough that you did it once, but twice after such a short time? You've not put yourself in a good spot here, and unfortunately you can't blame your boyfriend either. You shouldn't have gone in teh first place, knowing that your boyfriend is not taking things seriously, and with things not being firmly decided upon by the both of you.
No, don't move back. Before you know it your boyfriend jumps and moves yet again, who knows to where. Why should you keep jumping after him and ruining your career in the process? He is selfish if he expects you to drop everything just because he can't take his jobs seriously and be responsible.
No, sit tight. Don't move again. The risk is too high of him ending up just moving yet again, you've already transferred, and if I were you I'd sit right there for at least a year before I moved on to somewhere else.
Sorry that your boyfriend is so whimsical, but you can't keep dancing after his tune. He doesn't care at all about what position he has put you in... I think you should talk to him about this very seriously, because this is a big problem in your relationship. But do not move again. If I were you I think I'd demand that he stays where you are, because after all he made a huge commitment to you by asking you to move for him. He ought to respect and honour that commitment.
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