A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 27 and my boyfriend is 31. I am very happy sexually, my boyfriend is not. He says he is then he says he isn't. We've been going through a rough patch (and I mean he's been very verbally abusive) and my mind and body have been thrown very out of whack...that being said...my...natural bathroom habits have been nonexistent and my stomach gets ill easily and my head pounds every day with his accusations.We were just being intimate and he wanted to have anal sex. I said no and he asked why, I said "I'm really enjoying what we are doing now, let's continue" and he got very upset and said "tell me why" so I said "well it's not sexy, but I haven't been able to use the washroom in quite a while bc my body gets so anxious" and he stands up, gets upset, and gets dressed. When i get out of the washroom he tells me that he's not making dinner and that I have to be on gchat all day while I am at work tomorrow otherwise "[I] can forget about [him]" and that if I don't make myself come now then he knows why (he never stops accusing me...hence the verbal abuse). I said that i am very open to trying anal sex with him and to hopefully get to the point where I enjoy it and he got more upset, scoffed in my face when i said I will wait to have an orgasm until the next time we have sex (because he tells me that I have sex elsewhere).I have never in my life been unfaithful to a boyfriend... are my body reactions normal? I can not focus anymore because I become so amazingly (bad) anxious that something I do will set him off. He keeps blaming his temper on his depression and that he knows I'm a good person but...he scares me sometimes. My body/mind/heart/soul can't handle being accused of such painful acts.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 'so I said "well it's not sexy,'The above is your own statement, about anal sex. And, I take your statement as 'universal judgment'. Most certainly, anal is not 'sex-organ', so it cannot be sexy. And, if it is not sexy then why one should try or even think? Male and female relations is specifically meant, it revolve from evolved around 'sex-organ' is moral, is wise and good, so anything approaching 'worse', then it should be treat as reason to end the relationship. Oral sex is considered as high because it involve most sensual touch, but anal is not at all sensual,but it is against all sensuality. By, sense I means sense of 'touch'.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): Its time
That means its time to let hin go, your relationship has gone as far as its going to and it time for you to move on.
He doesnt respect you and he dosent value you. He doesnt even care about how you feel. What else do you need?
Its going to be hard, i know but it is only going to get worse
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (12 October 2009):
 Get out of that relationship, it's obviously bad for your health. Stand up for yourself, find someone that will respect you and treat you right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): I am in a situation similar to yours with my husband. It will only get worse and worse and worse and worse and worse... It never gets better with someone like him. Please get out now. (And I should be listening to my own advice, I know). It is difficult to say goodbye, but your health is suffering because of this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): You deserve better than him. Controlling you with sex is no way to make a relationship work. And the gchat thing is just ridiculous, while your at work you should be working not feeding him what he wants. He needs to respect that. You know what's right already, and that's why your body is reacting. Step up and leave him. You'll need to take the week or two of heart ache to move on but it'll only get worse from here.
Good Luck!
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