A
female
age
41-50,
*rowningbutterfly
writes:I feel like I'm ready to have a break down, My boyfriend an father of my son makes me feel so under appreciated, we are both unemployed an collecting unemployment he makes double I do I asked him to help pay for things he won't do it I pay for everything an have no money left for myself while he waste his money on online games an whatever else. I've been looking for jobs he isn't looking at all. I feel like I'm his maid I do all the laundry cleaning cooking dinner handle food stamp issues, insurance issues our son gets up in the middle of the night im the one who has to watch him while he sleeps.I'm so over tired an stressed im crying every day, The moment I need help or a shoulder to cry on he yells at me an says he shouldn't have to do anything an if I keep it up he will take our son an leave. the problem is I Went to a psychologist for the depression he causes when I Wanted to split from him he went an got those records an used them against me, all my family knows how he treats me but they wouldn't stand up for me in court so I got stuck with joint custody but he gets primary placement. So im literally stuck here I want my son with me. I don't know what to do anymore... Any ideas?
View related questions:
a break, money, online game, online gaming Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (15 March 2011):
 How did he get those records with out a court order?
You need to get a lawyer to repetition the custody order.
You shouldn't be punished for getting depressed or for seeking help to deal with a bad situation. Unless you were neglecting the child and/or unable to care for him at that time.
If you can't afford to do that, or get a public defender to help you, then I think you may need to call your bf's bluff and leave. From what you have said it doesn't sound like your bf would last a week at home without you there to pay all the bills, cook, clean and care for your son 24/7.
In order to avoid losing custody of your son you should probably take him with you and tell your bf that you will bring him back on his days. And that you will be back to pick him up again for your days. But you need to make sure you follow all the rules as laid out in the custody agreement.
Primary custody, may mean your son has to spend more time at your bf's house than yours for right now, but it shouldn't stop you from leaving and having your child spend several days a week with you at your place. You are still his mother and have joint custody which means you get to see him too even if you don't live with your bf anymore. Unless there are restrictions against you doing this that you haven't mentioned.
If there are no restrictions, and you can afford to rent your own place or can move back home with your family, then do it. You need to get away from this man and not let your fears hold you prisoner anymore. I am almost certain that your bf will not be able to cope with having to care for your son all day everyday and will be glad for you to keep him more. No matter what the custody order says.
It is also possible that he thinks he has you stuck and that you won't leave without your son no matter what he does to you, or how lazy he is. So when you do finally leave he will be shocked. And he might just wake up and realize that he needs you more then you need him. When he does he will probably beg you to come back and promise that he will change if you give him another chance.
You can either give him another try if you want to or not. But even if you leave for just a few weeks before going back to him, you hopefully won't be going back to the same problems. Because now he knows that you're fed up and not going to let him get away with it anymore, so he will most likely try a lot harder to keep you happy then he used to.
To me it is worth a try. Even if you have to miss your son a little in the meantime. You need to take care of yourself first, in order to best care for your child. It is not good for him to grow up in a home where his mother is treated like a slave, and does nothing to stop it.
I wish you peace and happiness.
|
