A
female
age
30-35,
*xwx4
writes:Late the other night, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex when he asked if we always had to have foreplay. He said that he was tired and just wanted to have sex. I told him that I feel that's really selfish, as for me foreplay's the most important thing. I don't enjoy it even half as much when he just climbs on top and sticks it in!!He told me it's not normal for a girl to always want to do stuff beforehand when speaking to my friends, I feel this is normal?? Even if it's not, it's made me feel a bit like an alien and that I'm not the way I should be. He said his ex has never had an orgasm ever, so maybe he's used to never having to consider the other party in sex?It's just made me really self-conscious, as to me I've seen it as making love, when it feels like he simply just wants to satisfy a need. I can't help but find it a little piggish/selfish and don't know what to do about it. I'm just going to feel like he's doing things out of obligation rather than because he's enjoying the experience and I'm scared this is going to change how I view sex with him. Anyone got any suggestions?
View related questions:
foreplay, his ex, orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 Well remember that even though a woman needs time to warm up, slowly building into a burning fire, and then likewise needs time to gently cool back down, men are light switches. We can go from nothing to horny in one second, and afterward we can be cold again in one second again. Foreplay is time, effort, energy, work, and attention while horny and not relieving it. Men generally enjoy it, love getting their women so hot, love pampering her and teasing her, even notice that their own orgasms are stronger after a bit of teasing, but sometimes, at least once in a while, men just want a quickie. It's fast, exciting, even impromptu, and requires far FAR less work.
Understand that while sex for you isn't even half as enjoyable without the buildup, sex is also tiring for him if he knows that he will never get anything without working for it. It's enjoyable work, certainly, but still. Think about it this way: He LOVES filet mignon. It's the most tender steak, it's juicy and delicious and seasoned just right and it's his favorite food ever! But sometimes, he's hungry and just wants a cheeseburger.
Maybe you compromise? Say that full sex, the good, long bedroom romp, involves foreplay, but from time to time just give him quick oral without any fuss?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): he is selfish, I had a relationship where the guy thought that intercourse was part of foreplay. It was horrible. Honestly if he really cared about you he would want you to have a good experience too. If you let it be where he can be lazy, you will feel like a piece of meat
...............................
|
