A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have dentures and I kept them a secret from my bf for nearly 3 years. One day my mouth was hurting so much from wearing them i told him I had them and then went to the bathroom to remove them to relieve the pain.I have taken to not wearing them much on the weekend cause they hurt so much.About a month ago my bf starting hinting about me wearing my teeth all the time and getting dental implants.His hints have turned into a bit of nagging. He is saying I look much much older without them. I think he is embarrassed to be seen with me when I am not wearing them even if I don't open my mouth or smile when I am out.I did go to a dental implant dentist and he think my bone is too thin for them and the sound like they would be a pain anyway. They can fail and other problems.So the dentist made me a new beautiful set of teeth perfect movie star white. They do fit much better than the old one but the bottoms still get quite painful so I don't wear them that much.You may ask why I just don't wear them all the time for my bf. Well, he does something that I can't stand and he refused to change for me.There was a period for about a year where he refused to bathe. He would go for a month without bathing. He wouldn't wash his clothes or comb his hair. He grew out a big icky hobo beard. He really is lucky I didn't dump him. Anyway, I would ask him very nicely if he would bathe and he would have some smart reply and say he doesn't bathe or he is allergic to water. Not once did he ever comply when I asked him to bathe.He got a new job and his employer told him not to come to work unless he was clean and had clean clothes so now he is bathing more but still on the weekends he is stinky.He left his clothes mildew and it was giving me headaches and finally I just took them and washed them myself.So yeah, I think even though my teeth really do hurt my gums, I am being a little bit stubborn because he refuses to do anything I requested.So how should I handle this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies. Yes, he did totally disregard me when I asked him nicely to take a bath. Not only did I have to look at him all dirty but imagine how terrible he smelled!
The one point of just because he is lazy and has no motivation doesn't mean I should follow that is true. I want to look nice regardless of what he does, for myself.
The next time he nags about me wearing my teeth, I will say something to him about it. I may actually say something about him not bathing too. I should say why should I wear my teeth when you have no regard for me by not keeping yourself clean?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): this sounds a lot like stalemate (no pun intended) neither one of you wants to do things to please the other, why do you think that is? i can see why you need a rest from your dentures if they are uncomfortable but perhaps your gums could rest at night and you could agree to not leave the house without teeth, your smile is so important to everyone not just your bf and if you dont ever smile without them or talk much then the issues go deeper than just not wearing them, as for not bathing that is pure laziness and sounds to me like your man may have a degree of depression to keep clean is not hard work it should be part of his routine everyday i wouldnt want to share a living space with someone who couldnt be bothered, surely if the relationship is good in other ways u can find a compromise, he can see a dr about his lack of motivation and u can see the dentist for a more comfy set of teeth, just cos he lost interest in himself dont follow his example sort it out for your own self esteem :-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): Perfect solution!!! Tell him you'll ware them more if he bathes more. Everyone wins.
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