A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for over five years and I feel so lonely in his presence. He says he's the kind of guy who hates showing his feelings and I want to feel loved and special. He neither show any concern through actions or words. I feel ignored when all my other friends happily describe how caring their boyfriend are. He's such a cold and emotionless person; whenever I would try to have serious conversations with him, he would only say he's not interested and make an issue out of the matter-saying I'm always complaining. His behaviour makes me doubtful about his feelings-I wonder if he really loves me or if he's only used to my presence. He often gives priorities to his friends and family-he would do only what his mind tells him; unconcerned about what effect it might have on me. I once tried to ask him about his plans-everything he told me was related to him only; I just couldn't find myself in his life! And when I asked-what about me? Then only he said-"Let all my dreams come true then someday I'll marry you!" I am the first girl who had a long and serious relationship with him; he's a guy who's never been out with any other girl before!I wonder-Is that the reason why he's so cold or is it that he has no idea what love actually is? Am I only his habit? I only want him to care, shower me with affection and make me feel important to him! Is this relationship worth it? Is he going to understand me and change someday? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 October 2012):
 Changing someone is a lifelong process. If he's been this way for a long time then change may be out of the question. Explore your options and focus on you.
A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (17 October 2012):
 I would dig and find out if there are any problems or issues that are holding him back. If there isnt, then it does sounds like maybe you are just his habit.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 October 2012):
 Why in the world have you stayed with a cold emotionless man who does not meet your needs for so long?
IF he loved you, you would know it. My husband is not very vocal about his feelings…but I KNOW he loves me…I am the priority in his life…
BTW “let all my dreams come true and then I’ll marry you” is a cop out… YOU should be his dream come true.. when you love someone you want to navigate life with them and have them help you experience your dreams… not fill them in at the end of the ride…
He’s selfish. He is NOT going to change. He is who he is… his behavior is what it is…
DO NOT stay with the POTENTIAL of what you want… IF you are not happy with things the way they are and you have tried to fix it and it’s not fixable then you must leave.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2012): Your boyfriend sounds just like mine and unfortunately what I have come to realize after 4 years of dating that we are just not compatible in our needs for attention and affection. Your boyfriend seems as if he is not as attached to you as you are to him. It happens. My boyfriend bends over backwards to help everyone else around us but when I want or need him he often is not there. Years ago I would have told you to hang in there or except your different needs for affection and attention but I know better now. NO ONE should have to fight to get their partner to understand them. If a man is telling you to wait for him to love you and to want to marry you then you should be saying okay. I will be out there dating other people and if I am free when you finally figure it out and can make me an important valued part of your life then let me know. But until then go out and date others, Your self esteem will improve. There is a man out there somewhere who will worship you the way you deserve and want to be loved. Just don't waste years on this guy waiting for him to change or become the man you need. I did and I regret it.Good luck to you.
...............................
|
