A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys! I'm really hoping for some perspective on this problem I have. It's re sex! I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 8 years now. We've had our problems but stayed together. The thing is that he can only have sex in one position and can only get a proper erection in the morning and occasionally at other times, maybe in the afternoon. He cannot get hard enough to have sex in any position than the missionary position. He says he was like this with his ex wife because he no longer fancied her and he now says it is because I need to lose weight! (his ex was a trim gym toned 12 with a sunbed tan and dyed her hair blonde so if weight is the issue then why couldn't he do it with her??). I am confused and I feel hurt when he blames me. Recently I said jokingly that it would be great if he could do it doggy style/from behind and since then he has been causing arguments with me about everything. I think he feels insecure about this. I was empathatic about it but the more he blames other people the more annoyed I get. Some of my friends say they wouldn't stay with a man who can only have sex in one position, especially if that man is rude and blames his GF for it. I always stayed because I love him and I though we can get around it (more than one way to skin a cat and all that) but the other day he got irritated with me DURING sex and blamed me for not touching him the right way (he kept going soft). He said even in the early days with his wife when all was ok with them that he had the same problem so why is he blaming her and now me?? I am confused about this. I have looked up some stuff on ED but I dare not mention it to him because he gets angry. Sometimes it is so frustrating. Does anyone know anything about ED anc can you give any insights into his behaviour? His ex wife apparently had affairs and used vibrators and she said this was because of his problem and his attitude about it (ie telling her she had big saggy boobs and was starting to look haggard). I am feeling frustrated and upset and angry and it's actually quite distressing. Thanks for reading. x
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affair, boobs, erection, ex-wife, his ex, insecure, lose weight, vibrator Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): Why are you staying with this guy? Tell him you love him and that you two must work on a number of things if this relationship is going to work. Give him a list and a deadline. If he refuses, pack your stuff and end this "relationship"- find a room mate that doesn't berate you and start dating men.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): Hi, dont let him push you around, its his problem that he's putting onto you. if you arent getting satisfied it is ok to use a vibrator, alot of people use them, even those who are having a very active sex life. maybe if you suggest he watches you? or he might find a sex toy that works for him? maybe you could both explore his male g spot? it must be very frustrating for him to not get an erection, it could be something as simple as one of his past sexual experiences with another person? talk to him about it, tell him how much you want to be the one who makes him blow his mind and how happy that would make you. good luck
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