A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my bf for 2 years and he is lovely, always complimenting me, tells me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I love him with all my heart and want to be with him always. My stupid insecurities are starting to get the best of me and I need help to stop them surfacing! He has a lot of pics and videos of 2 particular exes, one of them is the mother of his children, they split up 10 years ago but were still sleeping together until about 5 years ago, the other ex is a girl who he got together with just after splitting up with the mother of his kids, she is 10 years younger than him, they only went out for about a year but have been very good friends since this and lived together several times over the years, going on the videos and pics (a lot which have been taken after they broke up) he seems to have been infatuated with her, they are not pics of them together just of her posing, and of some in underwear etc, they are on his comp, has discs of them and saved on a separate hard drive aswell, she is also on his facebook. I know they shouldnt and everyone has a past but they make me feel uncomfortable and that he cant let go of her. He says they are just memories and I could understand a few pics of them together as memories but they are all of just her and so many of them, its making me feel insecure. Just need some advice on how to stop feeling jealous and insecure please.
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broke up, facebook, his ex, insecure, jealous, split up, underwear Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012): He doesnt look at his hard drive that is just for back up purposes but they are on his laptop that he uses. He says he doesnt look at them though.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 April 2012):
 Does he actually LOOK at them on a regular basis or are they on the drive as storage?
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 April 2012):
 I dont think you are the probklem here, he is being a bit unreasonable by keeping so many pictures of his exes.
You need to sit down and talk to him, tell him how you feel. Having a few pictures of your ex is fine if he wants to keep them, but pictures of her in her underwear is completely out of order. There is no way he should keep those types of pictures - that is not a memory he should need to revisit now he has you!
I would tell him that while you dont mind him being friends with his ex, you find it very inappropriate that he keeps pictures of his exes who are in their underwear. Explain you are not asking him to get rid of all his memories, but if he really is comitted to you now then he should not need to 'remember' what his ex looks like in her underwear and you will not tolerate him keeping that type of picture.
He should get rid of the underwear pictures, simple as that. If he refuses - well clearly he is not over her and I would be very careful if I were you, you are at risk of getting hurt here.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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