A
female
age
30-35,
*keez
writes:OK so I hope someone can help me. I've been going out with my new boyfriend for about 3,months and he has treated me wonderfully up until now. As it was Halloween I had gone out with my friends while he went out with his. We went out seperatly ad he lives about half an hour away and had work in the morn so didn't want to travel early in the morn to get back for work and risk being late. So I don't hear from him which I was fine with and assumed his phone ran out of battery. Didn't hear from him all day today so just assumed again he was at work. 5 o click came round and still no word from him as he finished work then. We were supposed to go out tonight together because we missed out Halloween tigether. Still no word so I get really mad. I ended up messaging his sisters friend to ask her if she's seen him at all and wjther he was ok as I thought maybe something bad had happened to him last night. I end up finding out he hasn't gone home all night....ended up appearing at his sister around 2, slept all day then went to his mums at around 5 and had not turned up to work. And still no word from him. I am livid. I don't know where he stayed last night....he may have now lost his job, he bailed on me tonight when I could have been seeing my mates tonight for a house party who I haven't seen in a while but can't travel to see them now as they live far. He can't even be bothered to turn on or charge his phone to even let me know he couldn't make tonight. Just to add me smokes weed and said to me yesterday morning that his mate had some.good stuff they were gonna get onto last nightHow do I handle this when I see him?? Should I be mad? Do I have the righht to ask him where he stayed and who he stayed with and how he got so wasted to miss work??
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at work, drunk, lost his job, smokes Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 November 2014):
 You'd do what my wife would have done and pack up and leave me to my own doomed future. Save yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2014): I agree with honey pie. Is this the sort of behavior you want to see in the future from a long term boyfriend? And do you really think you can trust him? You deserve someone who makes you a top priority
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2014): He's avoiding you.
That's not a great quality in a partner
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 November 2014):
 I'd back off.
You ask if you "should" be mad. Well, I WOULD be. You have to figure out how you feel about it.
The fact that he hasn't called you I think comes more down to guilt the NOT charging his phone. If he got to his sister's at 2 pm he could have used HER phone or later when he went to his mom's.
Not calling is stalling. He doesn't know how to tell you what happened or he doesn't WANT to tell you.
It's only been 3 months together so maybe, you need to figure out if this is OK behavior in a BF or not. And it does show that he isn't exactly responsible, I have gone out and gotten "fall down drunk" and still went to work the next day, granted I didn't get much done and I look like crap.. but I WENT to work.
And then there is the whole standing you up as well, not a good thing. My guess? He will play it off as IF you never really have any "set in stone" plans, so he just didn't feel like it. Which means, that may be who he is.
Do you have the right to ask him where he was? Why not? If he tells you it's none of your beeswax then you know where you stand. If he gives you some lame excuse, well, then you know where you stand too.
BALL is in his court. I'd say if he doesn't call by Sunday, I'd pack up anything he has at your place and give it back, then I'd look for someone less flakey.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2014): You have every right to ask him where he stayed and why he didn't call you.
Saying this as gently as possible, but he stood you up.
No matter how high or drunk he became, doubt he forgot you two had a date set up.
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