A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hey, im having a bit of a hard time with my boyfriend atm he doesn't want me to wear makeup , get my eyebrows done or anything its killing me i cant keep him telling me what to do . I dont wanna give up makeup or stop getting my eye brows done but hee makes me so upset its just not fair. like he doesn't even wanna talk to me anymore he reckens i have a attitude towards him when he brings this up . i always cry after i talk to him about this what does that meaan? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): Im a guy .. I always told my girlfriend she didnt need makeup or her eyebrows done or anything becuse I told her I loved her the way she is . and he may love you the way you are and looks do not matter . and he prolly feels like you are putting on make up and feeling pretty because he doesnt want you to be as attractive to other men .
thats my gods honest oppinion
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): It would be nice to hear a male's opinion on this question. Is there a reason to why he doesn't want you to wear makeup, are you putting on too much??
NightFairy
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 Seems a tad controlling to me. Next you can't wear the color blue, or drink anything red, then you can't talk to so and so.. you heals can only be 1 inch...
Seems like micro management.
I would explain (without fuss or tears) that having your eyebrows done, wearing make up makes you feel good about yourself, and that you are going to continue to do so.
I think you are old enough to make that choice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): He's controlling you. A man controlling a woman is one thing, but when it comes to make-up that's a different story!
Yes, most men prefer the women they love without make-up. But they can't tell them they can NEVER wear it, that's unacceptable. Same goes for anything, it's your body, you do what you want with it.
My boyfriend prefers me without make-up, but if he was to ever tell me I couldn't wear it, I'd laugh at him and wear it more!
Don't let anyone tell you what to do!
Make-up is a big thing for many women. It's a great invention to make us feel better about our selves. Make us feel pretty/sexy/attractive.
Just explain to him, it makes you feel better about yourself and how it's upsetting you. He can't tell you what you can and can't do with yourself. As for the eyebrows, I don't see why that should be an issue. I guess he really likes the natural look!
To be honest, he should be happy he's the only one who gets to see you without make-up. (when you've taken it off).
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A
female
reader, Fish Say Moo  +, writes (11 July 2010):
Awww.. poor you...... if i were you then i would sit down with him and say that you dont want to give up makeup because its who you are and that your boyfriend shouldnt be telling you what to do..
sitting down and talking to someone works the most i think--he might listen to you and then he will know that you are not happy with him and if he really loves you he will change.
If this doesnt go well or you dont want to do this then i think you would do better without him. you are a beautiful girl and you could have a happier life with someone that respects what you want to do. he doesnt even want to talk to you or you could live single and be free to do what you want.
I really hope that it helps and that you eather make up or you find someone else
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): This means you are in an abusive relationship - whereby he is trying to control you and is making you feel bad if you stand up for yourself. You have every right to be exactly who you want to be. He clearly does not want you to look nice / make an effort / appear potentially attractive to others. Please please please do not stop wearing makeup because he tells you to. The fact he is making you upset each time is a very very bad sign and if he truly cared about you he would say that he loved you - make up or no make up. This is not your fault. You are a woman, you want to wear make up. If he does not like you tell him to find another girlfriend that is prepared to never wear makeup. You must stand up for yourself otherwise he will carry on abusing you. You are right. He is not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): It means that he loves you for who you are and that he want's to look at your face, not at some colored powder. You're hiding your natural beauty under all that makeup. It's like you're wearing a mask. But about the eye brows, I don't see and harm in that so I can't understand why he doesn't want that. He is the one who is looking at you. One of you should compromise.
NightFairy
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 July 2010):
 What does that mean? It probably means your boyfriend is a control freak who likes to get things his way and doesn't like communicating with you on equal-terms. I understand he may not wish you to wear too much makeup, but as a grown woman it is up to you to decide what you wear and when. If you want to wear makeup it doesn't make you terribly unusual - most of womankind like to use a little bit. I think there should be a red flag going up for you about your relationship based on his behaviour. This is not about makeup, it is about control. If he is controlling about makeup, he can be controlling about other things too. Not being willing to discuss the issue (and negotiate) is a bad sign of control issues. I would advise you to continue to wear makeup if it makes you happy as it isn't the crime of the century. Your boyfriend should learn to accept you just the way you are - if he doesn't, perhaps the relationship has no long term future. It is time for you to stand up for yourself and to demonstrate that, as an adult, you are making choices for yourself. If you always bend to his wishes then you may find yourself in a terribly unhappy situation in the long term.
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