A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend will not kennel his dog! He acts like I'm the bad one and that I'm crazy, because I don't want the dog in the room when we are doing ANYTHING romantic (trying to kiss and make out in front of a codependent labrador, or any pet, is just moodkill to me).Needless to say, this has affected our sex life. Maybe we have 2 issues, because he doesn't seem to miss having sex more than once a month (for 5 minutes while the dog is locked outside barking his fool head off- the fence is broken so we can't leave him alone for long- and my boyfriend REFUSES to kennel the dog). We live in a teeny tiny house with no bedroom door, and really no door anywhere except the bathroom. To get him to agree to have a baby gate so that I can occasionally have my office area in the living room to myself, was hard enough (and he doesn't like to put the gate up, even when I have my parrots out and his dog is being disruptive). So how should I handle this? Since I've started refusing to have sex UNLESS the dog is NOT in the room, our sex has gone down to once a month (if that) and for 5 minutes- which doesn't please me (I don't get orgasms with hardly any foreplay). Leaving him, right now, would be pragmatically difficult since I'm also using space in his office building to start my own business from (I couldn't afford the resources otherwise).
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female
reader, Celia2 +, writes (3 November 2012):
 I agree with xlaurenx. Make an effort with the dog and your boyfriend will be pretty ecstatic. After all, he clearlyyyy loves his dog to no end.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): Get the dog a massive bone, give it to him and shut him in the bathroom with a bowl of water. Dog won't bark and your bf won't take offense because you've actually given the dog something nice instead of demanding its shut outside and left to bark or put in a kennel, which if I were your bf I would also refuse - a dog is part of the family and a natural pack animal. Getting one and then dumping it outside to live a solitary life in a kennal I don't agree with. Also if you just want it in the kennel every now and again it's something the dog is not used to and wouldn't take to.
I agree that it is a complete mood killer having a dog lingering around but you are going to have to accept the dog into your life and make an effort to help train the dog. Fix the fence in the garden so that the dog can learn to enjoy time outside, hide treats around the garden and send the dog to go find them, he is then out having fun and using his brain instead of feeling like being sent out is a punishment.
I'm sure your bf will appreciate the ideas and effort to get time alone and keep the dog happy too, he might start noticing your efforts and reciprocate.
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